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Dirty Jokes *DELETED*
#151594
03/13/06 03:48 AM
03/13/06 03:48 AM
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 5,524
Partagas
OP
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OP
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 5,524
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Re: Dirty Jokes
#151603
03/23/06 02:22 PM
03/23/06 02:22 PM
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 2,309 Austin, TX
suspect_5
Underboss
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Underboss
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 2,309
Austin, TX
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The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week (This is one pretty sharp boss!)
When everyone gathered, the boss, who understood the benefits of having fun, told the burnt out staff the purpose of the meeting was to have a quick contest. The theme: Viagra advertising slogans. The only rule was they had to use past ad slogans, originally written for other products that captured the essence of Viagra. Slight variations were acceptable.
About seven minutes later, they turned in their suggestions and created a Top Ten List With all the laughter and camaraderie, the rest of the week went very well for everyone. The top ten were: 10.Viagra, Whaazzzz up!
9. Viagra, The quicker pecker picker upper.
8. Viagra, Like a rock!
7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.
6. Viagra, Be all that you can be.
5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.
4. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
3. Viagra, Home of the whopper!
2. Viagra, We bring good things to Life!
And the unanimous number one slogan:
1 This is your winkie. This is your winkie on drugs
-------------------------------------- This signature has been sanatized for your protection - The Staff
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Re: Dirty Jokes
#151607
03/31/06 04:45 PM
03/31/06 04:45 PM
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2 Amherstburg,Ontario, Canada
Don Deano
Associate
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Associate
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2
Amherstburg,Ontario, Canada
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Not sure if i can get away wih this one, but here goes anyway!!!
In a recent survey into Blow Jobs and why men like them so much, 6%liked the feeling, 12% liked the excitement,and 82% just liked the Peace and Quiet!!!
''I feel sorry for you people that don't drink, cos when you wake in the morning that's the best your gonna feel ALL day!!!''-Dino Croccetti-
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Re: Dirty Jokes
#151608
03/31/06 04:50 PM
03/31/06 04:50 PM
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2 Amherstburg,Ontario, Canada
Don Deano
Associate
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Associate
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2
Amherstburg,Ontario, Canada
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Jack and Jill are playing Hide & Seek. Jill says ''If you find me you can lick my P*ssy and F*ck me up he ass. If you you can't, i'll be in the garden shed!!!''
''I feel sorry for you people that don't drink, cos when you wake in the morning that's the best your gonna feel ALL day!!!''-Dino Croccetti-
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Re: Dirty Jokes
#151609
03/31/06 05:11 PM
03/31/06 05:11 PM
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 31,285 New Jersey, USA
J Geoff
The Don
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The Don
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 31,285
New Jersey, USA
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If this thread wasn't called "Dirty Jokes" then I might have a bigger problem with those being your first two posts here. :p Hopefully it won't start a trend, tho...
I studied Italian for 2 semesters. Not once was a "C" pronounced as a "G", and never was a trailing "I" ignored! And I'm from Jersey! lol Whaddaya want me to do? Whack a guy? Off a guy? Whack off a guy? --Peter Griffin My DVDs | Facebook | Godfather Filming Locations
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Re: Dirty Jokes
#151614
04/09/06 06:01 PM
04/09/06 06:01 PM
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 443 New Jersey
Obsessed With The GodFather
Capo
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Capo
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 443
New Jersey
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Subject: Brokeback Cowboy
A rugged cowboy from Brokeback Mountain, Wyoming, goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run.
The doctor comes back and says, "I am not going to beat around the bush, You have AIDS."
The cowboy tugs at his Stetson and sets his jaw and says, "Doc, what can i do?"
The doctor says, "I want you to go home and eat 5 pounds of spicy sausage, a head of cabbage,20 un-peeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts, 1/2 box of Grapenuts cereal, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice."
The cowboy squares his rugged shoulders and asks, "Will that cure me, Doc?
"No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your ass is for."
Johnny Cash & June Carter Cash Fan!
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Re: Dirty Jokes
#151616
04/19/06 04:37 AM
04/19/06 04:37 AM
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 113
Flame Angel
Made Member
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Made Member
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 113
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A guy was in the line at the supermarket, when he noticed a beautiful blonde woman smiling and waving at him. So he says, "Do I know you?" She replies. "I may be mistaken, but I think you may be the father of one of my children."
Instantly his mind shoots back to the one and only time he had been unfaithful. "Crap!" he says. "Are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I had sex with on top of Joe's pool table in front of all my buddies while your girlfriend spanked me with a wet celery stick and stuck a cucumber up my butt?"
"No" she replies quietly. "I'm your daughter's second grade teacher."
"pretty in punk..." setting off metal detectors in a town near you
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Re: Dirty Jokes
#151617
04/19/06 04:38 AM
04/19/06 04:38 AM
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 113
Flame Angel
Made Member
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Made Member
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 113
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A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses he r neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain... do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you.
This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!"
His wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too!!
"pretty in punk..." setting off metal detectors in a town near you
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Re: Dirty Jokes
#151618
04/19/06 08:35 PM
04/19/06 08:35 PM
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 25,984 California
The Italian Stallionette
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 25,984
California
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Ok, not a dirty joke, but still funny! Subject: Living Will Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." She got up, unplugged the TV and then threw out my beer. TIS
"Mankind must put an end to war before war puts an end to mankind. War will exist until that distant day when the conscientious objector enjoys the same reputation and prestige that the warrior does today." JFK
"War is over, if you want it" - John Lennon
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Re: Dirty Jokes
#151620
04/20/06 08:46 PM
04/20/06 08:46 PM
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 31,285 New Jersey, USA
J Geoff
The Don
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The Don
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 31,285
New Jersey, USA
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I studied Italian for 2 semesters. Not once was a "C" pronounced as a "G", and never was a trailing "I" ignored! And I'm from Jersey! lol Whaddaya want me to do? Whack a guy? Off a guy? Whack off a guy? --Peter Griffin My DVDs | Facebook | Godfather Filming Locations
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