I thought this was clever, thought I'd share it. Hope this doesn't offend.
DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish.............................................49 Adventurous.......................Slept with everyone Athletic...................................No T i t s Average looking..................................Ugly Beautiful...........................Pathological liar Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of pills Emotionally Secure......................On medication Feminist..........................................Fat Free spirit....................................Junkie Friendship first.......................Former s l u t Fun..........................................Annoying New-Age.................Body hair in the wrong places Old-fashioned..................................No BJs Open-minded.................................Desperate Outgoing........................Loud and Embarrassing Passionate...............................Sloppy drunk Professional................................B i t c h Voluptuous...................................Very Fat Large frame................................Hugely Fat Wants Soul mate...............................Stalker
DICTIONARY OF WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No 2. No = Yes 3. Maybe = No 4. We need = I want.. 5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry 6. We need to talk = You're in trouble 7. Sure, go ahead = You better not 8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later 9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you m o r o n! 10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
DICTIONARY OF MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy 3. I am tired = I am tired 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage! 5. I love you = Let's have sex now 6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex? 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you 8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you 9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you 10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you 11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay