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Can a woman be a genuine buddy to a man? #117900
07/02/05 05:33 AM
07/02/05 05:33 AM
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 129
UK
scarfacelondon Offline OP
Made Member
scarfacelondon  Offline OP
Made Member
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 129
UK
Can a woman be a genuine and frank buddy to a man?

It is sometimes evident that women are not good pals to other women themselves unless there are secrets to share and keep.

Even in love a woman looks for security. Her attitude towards men is conditioned by this element of preservation of her own interests and is comfortable only when her scheme of things are not upset.

Fundamentally, there appears to be some credence to the view that a woman is more selfish than man. She cannot be a good 'giver' in a friendship and hence that doesn't make her a good pal. And giving without strings attached comes quite naturally to men on the contrary.

So the world's most desirable body of flesh is actually a being incapable of looking at another person in a hassle free and genuine manner.

How many genuine man-woman friendships have we heard of? Out of them how many do not have the sexual or romantic undercurrent? And how many are the cases where the lady actually gives back as much as she gets from the friendship?

I'm not talking about the selflessness of a mother or the selflessness of a lady in love. I'm referring here to the selflessness and capabilities of a woman as a friend, pal and buddy?


"Choose your friends carefully. Your enemies will choose you".
Re: Can a woman be a genuine buddy to a man? #117901
07/02/05 08:16 AM
07/02/05 08:16 AM
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 14,900
Beth E Offline
Crabby
Beth E  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 14,900
I actually have several male friends. Just because people are of the opposite sex doesn't mean they have to have sexual feelings for each other. I think men feel women are better listeners, and sometimes they like to have an impartial person to talk to and not judge them or put pressure on them.

Ok, so I'm not a real believer in the theme of the movie, "When Harry met Sally".


How about a little less questions and a lot more shut the hell up - Brian Griffin

When there's a will...put me in it.
Re: Can a woman be a genuine buddy to a man? #117902
07/02/05 08:40 AM
07/02/05 08:40 AM
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 15,058
The Slippery Slope
plawrence Offline
RIP StatMan
plawrence  Offline
RIP StatMan
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Posts: 15,058
The Slippery Slope
Who came up with this theory?

It's a whole bunch of very, very broad generalizations, which I would sum up as being mostly a load of crap.

(I hope you didn't write this. If you did, then please don't take my comments personally.)


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: Can a woman be a genuine buddy to a man? #117903
07/02/05 09:18 AM
07/02/05 09:18 AM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 12,724
D
Double-J Offline
Double-J  Offline
D

Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 12,724
Yes, a woman can have genuine male friends when she has a long-term boyfriend. Grr. Don't I know that one. :p



Re: Can a woman be a genuine buddy to a man? #117904
07/02/05 11:24 AM
07/02/05 11:24 AM
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 5,602
Yunkai
afsaneh77 Offline
Mother of Dragons
afsaneh77  Offline
Mother of Dragons

Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 5,602
Yunkai
Quote:
Originally posted by scarfacelondon:
Can a woman be a genuine and frank buddy to a man?
If you don't ruin your friendship with trying to get laid, yes.


"Fire cannot kill a dragon." -Daenerys Targaryen, Game of Thrones
Re: Can a woman be a genuine buddy to a man? #117905
07/02/05 11:55 AM
07/02/05 11:55 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 1,211
Little Chicago
Tony Love Offline
Underboss
Tony Love  Offline
Underboss
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 1,211
Little Chicago
I think it's a good topic. One that has never been brought up (at least to me) before.

When it comes to opposite sex friendships, they're possible, but it seems that there's always fine print. It always helps if the man's gay for one thing.

It seems out of all the man-to-woman friendships I have, either they want something, or I do. I know this is not just me, because there are people I know who share the same types of relationships. I think this isn't just surface "yeah, a man and woman can be friends" talk (how people are trying to make it out to be). I think when you get down to it, there's much, much more.


"Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so"-Gore Vidal
"Conformity is the jailer of freedom and enemy of growth"-John Fitzgerald Kennedy
"The reason the mainstream is thought of as a stream is because of its shallowness"-George Carlin
Re: Can a woman be a genuine buddy to a man? #117906
07/02/05 12:02 PM
07/02/05 12:02 PM
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,406
Big Daddy Don Offline
Sugar Daddy
Big Daddy Don  Offline
Sugar Daddy
Underboss
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,406
Quote:
Originally posted by afsaneh77:
If you don't ruin your friendship with trying to get laid, yes.
Guess that explains why I have no female friends.

:p

Re: Can a woman be a genuine buddy to a man? #117907
07/02/05 12:09 PM
07/02/05 12:09 PM
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 5,602
Yunkai
afsaneh77 Offline
Mother of Dragons
afsaneh77  Offline
Mother of Dragons

Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 5,602
Yunkai
Quote:
Originally posted by Big Daddy Don:
Guess that explains why I have no female friends. :p
Poor BDD! I'll be your female friend. Considering the distance between us there is no way that you can screw this one! :p


"Fire cannot kill a dragon." -Daenerys Targaryen, Game of Thrones
Re: Can a woman be a genuine buddy to a man? #117908
07/02/05 09:55 PM
07/02/05 09:55 PM
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 2,190
Brazil
Tony Mosrite Offline
Underboss
Tony Mosrite  Offline
Underboss
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 2,190
Brazil
Quote:
Originally posted by Big Daddy Don:
quote:
Originally posted by afsaneh77:
If you don't ruin your friendship with trying to get laid, yes.
Guess that explains why I have no female friends.

anyway, I agree with plaw that this is a simple generalization, but I can't deny that is VERY difficult to see a true man-to-woman friendship without sex involved there.


"I'm just a humble motherfucker with a big ass dick"
The Bunk
Re: Can a woman be a genuine buddy to a man? #117909
07/03/05 11:12 AM
07/03/05 11:12 AM
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 2,323
Happy Valley
Freddie C. Offline
Underboss
Freddie C.  Offline
Underboss
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 2,323
Happy Valley
Who would ever want a friend?


"The Dewey Decimal System... What a scam that was!"
Re: Can a woman be a genuine buddy to a man? #117910
07/03/05 11:30 AM
07/03/05 11:30 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 1,211
Little Chicago
Tony Love Offline
Underboss
Tony Love  Offline
Underboss
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 1,211
Little Chicago
Good point. There's a fine line between friendship and an intimate relationship. I've been trying to get with this girl for ages (for a genuine intimate relationship), at first, she was game. Now she only wants to be friends, which is a big tease. In this situation I figure friendship can't do much. It's sad really.


"Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so"-Gore Vidal
"Conformity is the jailer of freedom and enemy of growth"-John Fitzgerald Kennedy
"The reason the mainstream is thought of as a stream is because of its shallowness"-George Carlin
Re: Can a woman be a genuine buddy to a man? #117911
07/03/05 11:39 AM
07/03/05 11:39 AM
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 2,497
Los Angeles
Don Corpuzzi Offline
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Don Corpuzzi  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 2,497
Los Angeles
I think every female friend I've had I've been attracted to in some way at some point in time.

Re: Can a woman be a genuine buddy to a man? #117912
07/03/05 11:43 AM
07/03/05 11:43 AM
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 5,032
Texas
ginaitaliangirl Offline
ginaitaliangirl  Offline

Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 5,032
Texas
I think Jerry and Elaine were pretty much the perfect guy/girl friends. Even when they decided to have sex, they made "rules" for it so as not to damage their friendship.

I can't really say for sure if a woman and man could be genuine friends without any sexual feelings for each other, but I suppose it's possible.

My best guy friend is my cousin; we're the same age, we live next door to each other, and we go to the same school, so we're very close. I don't know if it's from growing up with him, his brother, and my brother, but I've never been a very "girly" girl. I'm not saying I'm not into any kind of "chick" things (y'all have heard me gush about You've Got Mail and Sleepless in Seattle...and all of my favorite baseball players...*ahem*.. ), but most all of my girl friends are girlier than me. While they're there for me all the time as friends, and I know I can rely on them and trust them, I've found that I can have a lot of fun with guys, just as friends, as well. There are only a few girls that truly care about baseball, roller coasters, and some of the things I like, so I find myself enjoying the friendship of guys more so in those matters. I have had feelings for some of my guys friends, but I appreciate the friendship that we have. I would hope I'm not being "selfish" in any of these relationships...

Sorry for being a movie nerd, or...something, but this reminds me of a quote from You've Got Mail (Imagine that, huh?):

"You're taking it to the next level. I always do that. I always take a relationship to the next level, and if it works okay I take it to the next level after that, until I can finally get to the level where it becomes absolutely necessary for me to leave."

So...I guess if you're a "friend" with someone who likes to always "take it to the next level," you might have trouble being "just friends," but I don't think it's impossible for a guy and girl to be genuine friends without deeper feelings.

Re: Can a woman be a genuine buddy to a man? #117914
07/03/05 01:44 PM
07/03/05 01:44 PM
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 2,774
New York
raggingbull2003 Offline
Underboss
raggingbull2003  Offline
Underboss
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 2,774
New York
A stand up comedian once said, "Having a woman as a friend [if your a guy] is like standing next to an ATM with only 19 dollars in your account."


"You can shear a sheep many times, but you can skin him only once."
-Amarillo Slim
Re: Can a woman be a genuine buddy to a man? #117915
07/03/05 01:47 PM
07/03/05 01:47 PM
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 2,497
Los Angeles
Don Corpuzzi Offline
Underboss
Don Corpuzzi  Offline
Underboss
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 2,497
Los Angeles
Jerry and Elaine dated before they were friends. So at one point, there was sexual attraction.

A big reason why they were such good friends after is that the sexual tension wasn't as big an issue. They had been intimate before, so there was no mystery about that. And they had dated and it didn't work out. So they could put all that past them and not worry about things.

Re: Can a woman be a genuine buddy to a man? #117916
07/04/05 03:10 AM
07/04/05 03:10 AM
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 5,032
Texas
ginaitaliangirl Offline
ginaitaliangirl  Offline

Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 5,032
Texas
Quote:
Originally posted by Partagas:
ummmmmm what are ya tryin to tell us --- kissing cuz
Ugh, I just saw this...I mentioned it because I think growing up so close to him has helped me appreciate that a guy can be a good friend, too. No kissing cousins, okay? :p You're so disgusting, Part... :rolleyes:

Corpuzzi, that's true; you make a good point.

Re: Can a woman be a genuine buddy to a man? #117917
07/04/05 04:06 AM
07/04/05 04:06 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 2,735
Lavinia from Italy Offline
Underboss
Lavinia from Italy  Offline
Underboss
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 2,735
Quote:
Originally posted by scarfacelondon:
How many genuine man-woman friendships have we heard of?
Not many, it's true. Possibly because among all the things men are likely to profusely give to women their dick is always included?


I don't want realism. I want magic! Yes, yes, magic. I try to give that to people. I do misrepresent things. I don't tell the truth. I tell what ought to be truth (Blanche/A streetcar named desire)

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