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Re: New Girl Problem
#95759
01/28/05 02:06 AM
01/28/05 02:06 AM
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 367 Baltimore, MD
Don Provalone
Capo
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Capo
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 367
Baltimore, MD
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Originally posted by Busta: Sorry to be bugging everyone here with my own personal life but I've been really confused lately and really don't know what to do.
I started to hanging out with this one girl a lot right before christmas break at college. We were alone a lot and I know I could have kissed her but decided not to because break was coming up and I thought it would have made it hard during the one month break for both of us. She had an ex boyfriend her sr year of high school who she was pretty serious and kinda started to like again while back at home during break. Since we've been back, Ive been confused about what to do and have talked to her bout it. She says she thinks it would be unfair to me to start a relationship because she still isnt over her ex yet. However, she says she still likes me. So I really don't know what to do. All of my friends have told me to just kiss her anyway and see what happens. Should I play the friends game for awhile? I've done that so much and don't want to do it again. Should I just stop talking to her? Any advice would be great. My young brother - move on with your life! If she wanted you and wanted you exclusively as a friend and partner, then she would say so. You are her spare tire. She wants you as a friend in case she loses her true love, then she will never have to admit to herself or others that she is alone. She needs you for a rainy day lover. You are being treated like a condom in a wallet - not used, but just kept around in case of emergency. She wants to be friends - great - so be it. Keep the relationship on that level and let her use your heart as a yo-yo no longer. Otherwise pretty soon, she will 'walk the dog'.
"People who are not serious, should not be taken seriously"
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Re: New Girl Problem
#95760
01/28/05 02:11 AM
01/28/05 02:11 AM
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,886 Folsom Prison
DonFerro55
Underboss
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Underboss
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,886
Folsom Prison
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KISS HER!
Do it now and regret it later, if nessesary.
To see if there is a spark there, you must smooch her face. Do it and judge her reaction, if all goes well, you will have wowed her off her feet and Johnny Chumps will be left in the dust. Give her something to forget her ex over.
The Doctor (of Love)
And you liar, teller of tall tales: you trample all the Lord's commandments underfoot, you murder, steal, commit adultery, and afterward break into tears, beat your breast, take down your guitar and turn sin into a song. Shrewd devil, you know very well that God pardons singers no matter what they do, because he can simply die for a song.
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Re: New Girl Problem
#95761
01/28/05 04:05 AM
01/28/05 04:05 AM
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 2,735
Lavinia from Italy
Underboss
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Underboss
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 2,735
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Kiss her and then disappear. This "bite and run strategy" is often effective. If she is really interested in you, she will look for you. Otherwise, you should not be hanging around just to wait until she makes up her mind. The sea is full of fishes, we say in Italy, that is the world is full of girls waiting for you, after all, dear Busta.
I don't want realism. I want magic! Yes, yes, magic. I try to give that to people. I do misrepresent things. I don't tell the truth. I tell what ought to be truth (Blanche/A streetcar named desire)
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Re: New Girl Problem
#95762
01/28/05 05:11 AM
01/28/05 05:11 AM
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 15,058 The Slippery Slope
plawrence
RIP StatMan
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RIP StatMan
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 15,058
The Slippery Slope
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I'm a little confused here..... All of this uncertainty about whether or not you should just try to to kiss her? That's still only first base, right? Given the generation gap, my advice on teenage relationships is a bit outdated, but I had the impression (and please correct me if I'm wrong) that you kids today were having sex like little bunny rabbits. If you wanted to know if you should try and sleep with her or something, well, that I would understand. But a kiss? What's the big deal? You wanna kiss her, try kissing her. If she doesn't want you to, you'll know quickly enough. Originally posted by Irishman12: I think that the balls in her court. Originally posted by Irishman12: I feel it's up to her I'm not gonna touch those two lines.....
"Difficult....not impossible"
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Re: New Girl Problem
#95764
01/28/05 07:50 AM
01/28/05 07:50 AM
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 15,058 The Slippery Slope
plawrence
RIP StatMan
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RIP StatMan
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 15,058
The Slippery Slope
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You must remember this A kiss is just a kiss.....
"Difficult....not impossible"
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Re: New Girl Problem
#95766
01/28/05 08:56 AM
01/28/05 08:56 AM
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,150 MI6
Krlea
Underboss
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Underboss
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,150
MI6
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Originally posted by Lavinia from Italy: Kiss her and then disappear. This "bite and run strategy" is often effective. If she is really interested in you, she will look for you. Otherwise, you should not be hanging around just to wait until she makes up her mind. The sea is full of fishes, we say in Italy, that is the world is full of girls waiting for you, after all, dear Busta. Coming from another girl, I think Lavinia said it perfectly. Kiss and Run. She'll learn how great you are. Do NOT hang around waiting for her to get over her boyfriend, that is just another way of saying "I'm so desperate I'll play second place." Lots of Luck, we'll be rooting for you!
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Re: New Girl Problem
#95767
01/28/05 09:31 AM
01/28/05 09:31 AM
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 15,058 The Slippery Slope
plawrence
RIP StatMan
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RIP StatMan
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 15,058
The Slippery Slope
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And if you do get to first base, let us know if and when you're rounding third and heading for home.
"Difficult....not impossible"
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Re: New Girl Problem
#95769
01/28/05 01:30 PM
01/28/05 01:30 PM
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 4,595
fathersson
Underboss
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Underboss
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 4,595
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Originally posted by Busta: Ive been confused about what to do and have talked to her bout it. She says she thinks it would be unfair to me to start a relationship because she still isnt over her ex yet.
However, she says she still likes me. So I really don't know what to do. All of my friends have told me to just kiss her anyway and see what happens. Should I play the friends game for awhile? I've done that so much and don't want to do it again. Should I just stop talking to her? Any advice would be great. Lets not beat around the "BUSH" here. If you are old enough to chase after a women then you are old enough to hear this straight up. What is the problem BUSTA? What is so confusing? You told her you like her, she tells you she doesn't want to get it on with you and uses the old boyfriend as an excuse to let you down easy. You don't like her answer so now you are confused? Hey listen what's a the matter with some of you guys. Is everything a game to you? Can't you have any women friends without being involved with them. If you aren't working toward romance then you want to bail out of the friendship? What's wrong here? You don't have to kiss your male friends to hang out together, then why do you have to with a female friend. I know what you are going to say. It hurts to be around her when I want it to be so much more. Well, that is tuff so suck it up and become a man. If she is nice enough for you to want to be with then she is nice enough to hang out with. And who knows who she may introduce you to some of her nice friend who just may want to chase after you! If you are having the same problem with women over and over again then it may be time to look at yourself and see what you are doing wrong. Truth is if she wants to get kissed by you, then she will put you in a spot that will make it possible for it to happen. Mature people leave the game playing for the kids in grade school. If you hang out and you both feel that you are right for each other then it will happen. It takes two to tango as the old saying goes. She knows that you are interested which is always half the battle. Only chumps/kids play the chase me game to show me you really care. Good Luck and like others have told you that there are loads of people out there also looking for that right person. The trick is to find them, then stay together!
ONLY gun owners have the POWER to PROTECT and PRESERVE our FREEDOM. "...it is their (the people's) right and duty to be at all times armed" - Thomas Jefferson, June 5, 1824
Everyone should read. "HOW TO KILL A MOCKING BIRD"
CAUTION: This Post has not been approved by Don Cardi.
You really don't expect people to believe your shit do you?
Read: "The Daily Apple"- Telling America and the Gangster BB like it really is!
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Re: New Girl Problem
#95770
01/28/05 03:49 PM
01/28/05 03:49 PM
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 3,733
JustMe
Underboss
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Underboss
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 3,733
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Originally posted by plawrence: I had the impression (and please correct me if I'm wrong) that you kids today were having sex like little bunny rabbits.
If you wanted to know if you should try and sleep with her or something, well, that I would understand.
But a kiss? What's the big deal?
Well, you know, Plawrence, girls are so different! If some dirty animal would try to kiss me in the lips before the church marriage, I believe I'd slap him around! Fathersson, yours was very right, I think.
keep your mouth shut, and your eyes open.
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Re: New Girl Problem
#95771
01/28/05 04:07 PM
01/28/05 04:07 PM
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 14,900
Beth E
Crabby
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Crabby
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 14,900
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Originally posted by JustMe: If some dirty animal would try to kiss me in the lips before the church marriage, I believe I'd slap him around!
Slapping them around after they kiss you is just as fun.
How about a little less questions and a lot more shut the hell up - Brian Griffin
When there's a will...put me in it.
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Re: New Girl Problem
#95776
01/28/05 05:10 PM
01/28/05 05:10 PM
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 25,984 California
The Italian Stallionette
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 25,984
California
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I don't know Busta. I am not of your generation, but like to think I've learned a thing or two in my life. I think FS has a point however, and being a woman myself, maybe I have a little understanding of interpreting this situation from a female view. Just the fact that she says pursuing a relationship "wouldn't be fair to you", in my mind, tells me she is trying to be nice and let you down easy. But hey, I don't know either of you, and Lord knows I could be wrong. We can all give you our views, but in the end, you will have to be the one to decide. Whatever you decide good luck. TIS
"Mankind must put an end to war before war puts an end to mankind. War will exist until that distant day when the conscientious objector enjoys the same reputation and prestige that the warrior does today." JFK
"War is over, if you want it" - John Lennon
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Re: New Girl Problem
#95777
01/28/05 06:30 PM
01/28/05 06:30 PM
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 4,206 Los Angeles
Letizia B.
Underboss
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Underboss
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 4,206
Los Angeles
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Originally posted by Busta: She says she thinks it would be unfair to me to start a relationship because she still isnt over her ex yet. Translation: No thanks. However, she says she still likes me. You're Mr. Just-in-Case. (I swear I knew a guy named Justin Kase in junior high... Cruel parents, just cruel. ) Or who knows? Maybe she's got you in mind as Mr. On-the-Side. Tsk tsk tsk. So I really don't know what to do. Let it go. You keep chasing her, she's going to think you're pathetic. Refrain from being needy, at all costs. When she gets over the other guy, she'll come looking for you, like Lav and Kris said. That's when you cash in. Although Plaw's right... just to make sure, you can kiss her. If she doesn't want it, you'll know pretty quick. That stinging feeling in your left cheek? You've just been bitch-slapped, my friend. Very apropos lyrics, Plaw and Turi. You too, Bogz. Plaw, yours is one of my favorite songs of all time.
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Re: New Girl Problem
#95778
01/28/05 07:45 PM
01/28/05 07:45 PM
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 14,900
Beth E
Crabby
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Crabby
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 14,900
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Originally posted by plawrence: You must remember this A kiss is just a kiss..... Remind me not to kiss you. Heck, a kiss has to mean something. I'm not gonna swap spit with someone just to say hi. A handshake will do that. Originally posted by Freddie C.: Originally posted by plawrence: [b]I had the impression (and please correct me if I'm wrong) that you kids today were having sex like little bunny rabbits. Some of us are. [/b]
Ahhh....to be a kid again.
How about a little less questions and a lot more shut the hell up - Brian Griffin
When there's a will...put me in it.
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Re: New Girl Problem
#95779
01/28/05 08:31 PM
01/28/05 08:31 PM
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 4,595
fathersson
Underboss
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Underboss
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 4,595
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Pop said that when he was in school they use to say: Meat is Meat and Veal is Veal Whats a Kiss without a feel.
ONLY gun owners have the POWER to PROTECT and PRESERVE our FREEDOM. "...it is their (the people's) right and duty to be at all times armed" - Thomas Jefferson, June 5, 1824
Everyone should read. "HOW TO KILL A MOCKING BIRD"
CAUTION: This Post has not been approved by Don Cardi.
You really don't expect people to believe your shit do you?
Read: "The Daily Apple"- Telling America and the Gangster BB like it really is!
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Re: New Girl Problem
#95782
01/29/05 05:12 AM
01/29/05 05:12 AM
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 4,206 Los Angeles
Letizia B.
Underboss
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Underboss
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 4,206
Los Angeles
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Originally posted by JustMe: [quote]Originally posted by Letizia B.: [b] That stinging feeling in your left cheek? You've just been bitch-slapped, my friend.
He-he, this is a hint at - uh - me ? Thanks, Zia, thanks. [/b][/quote] Not at all... just a generic slap-in-the-face reference. Not calling YOU any names. But it was inspired by your comment, yes. Thanks for the orange, though. Your fish are on the way.
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Re: New Girl Problem
#95785
01/30/05 04:22 PM
01/30/05 04:22 PM
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 367 Baltimore, MD
Don Provalone
Capo
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Capo
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 367
Baltimore, MD
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Originally posted by Busta: Well I ended up deciding to kiss her and it looks like it turned out pretty well cuz it looks likes we're together now. I guess she was just testing me or something or the kiss changed her mind.
Anyway, thanks for all the advice. I understood where you were all coming from and it helped make my decision. If her mind can be changed with only a kiss, then how long do you think you will 'be together'? Sounds like if the old boyfriend or someone else that she meets decides to chance a kiss and she likes it, then you are back to square one. No offense, but from what you have shared, she is fickled - BUT IF YOU ARE HAPPY, THEN THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS! Best wishes!
"People who are not serious, should not be taken seriously"
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Re: New Girl Problem
#95786
01/30/05 08:05 PM
01/30/05 08:05 PM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 18,238 The Ravenite Social Club
Don Cardi
Caporegime
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Caporegime
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 18,238
The Ravenite Social Club
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Originally posted by Busta: Sorry to be bugging everyone here with my own personal life but I've been really confused lately and really don't know what to do.
I started to hanging out with this one girl a lot right before christmas break at college. We were alone a lot and I know I could have kissed her but decided not to because break was coming up and I thought it would have made it hard during the one month break for both of us. She had an ex boyfriend her sr year of high school who she was pretty serious and kinda started to like again while back at home during break. Since we've been back, Ive been confused about what to do and have talked to her bout it. She says she thinks it would be unfair to me to start a relationship because she still isnt over her ex yet. However, she says she still likes me. So I really don't know what to do. All of my friends have told me to just kiss her anyway and see what happens. Should I play the friends game for awhile? I've done that so much and don't want to do it again. Should I just stop talking to her? Any advice would be great. Sounds to me that she like you too, but that she, like you, is a bit confused. I wouldn't tell you to cut her off, don't do that, I think that you should continue to see her and do what comes natural, and if it's meant to be, it will be. If not, then you can move on with a clear head. The worst thing that anyone can do to themselves is look back and say " Damn, I shoulda..., or why didn't I... etc. I'd rather look back and say, "Well maybe I failed and it didn't work, but at least I gave it a shot and tried!" And then move on. Remember something Busta : "Furst chu get da money, den chu get da power, and DEN chu get da women!" Good luck! Don Cardi
Don Cardi Five - ten years from now, they're gonna wish there was American Cosa Nostra. Five - ten years from now, they're gonna miss John Gotti.
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