The Illusionist *** 1/2
(First Viewing)

Eisenheim (Edward Norton) is a magician in early 1900's Vienna, who falls in love with a woman well above his social standing. When she becomes engaged to a Crown Prince, Eisenheim uses his powers to free her and undermine the stability of the royal house of Vienna.

A very surprisingly great movie from director Neil Burger. Edwarton Norton and Paul Giamatti both did terrific jobs, particularly with their accents. I'm hoping this performance will land Edward Norton another Oscar nomination. Rufus Sewell, whose previous work I am unfamilar with did a great job too as Crown Prince Leopold. Before watching this film, the friend I was watching it with posed the question to me, "what bad movie has Edward Norton done?" A very good question and the only answer I could come up with was Keeping the Faith, Think about it for yourself, it's pretty hard to figure out.

Death To Smoochy. Norton was great in American History X, but it's not a good movie. Of course, it's just my opinion.

I disagree. American History X was great and Death To Smoochy was a very enjoyable dark comedy (I love Robin Williams)

I agree with Irish.

AMERICAN HISTORY X and DEATH SMOOCHY are good, though the first more or less works as well as it does simply because of Norton, and the second....some uncreative scripting choices aside, its an enjoyable flick that allows Robin Williams to be a crazy bastard, with Norton as the Jimmy Stewart-Gee-I'm-So-Naive protagonist.

This is really turning out to be some type of Twilight Zone/bizaro world ronnie because we keep agreeing with each other as of late (except of course on the subject of James Bond)

I don't see many movies, but a few months ago I watched American History X and enjoyed it. I thought Edward Norton's performance was powerful.

There are some provocative scenes in films, which may be well done, but deal with an intensity or unpleasant subject matter, that make it difficult to view a second time. The scene where Norton's character erupts in a bigoted and violent tirade at a dinner with his family and mother's Jewish boyfriend is one such scene that I wouldn't be in a hurry to revisit.

Should I check out Death to Smoochy?

I would say yes to Death To Smoochy. It's dark humor but as I said, I love Robin Williams and Edward Norton. What can you really lose by watching it?

DEATH TO SMOOCHY I enjoy, but its really an average comedy that thinks its being rather naughty, but not really. But Williams is fun(instead of being annoying, which is rare for a comedy) and Norton plays fun for laughs.

Never the less, the best scene in the movie is the infamous "cock cookie" scene that Norton plays brilliantly.

"It's......a ROCKETSHIP!"

Speaking of which, another great acting job by Norton was one that he neither gets noted for, nor actual screen credit. His tragic Brando-esque work as the masked leper King of Jerusalem in KINGDOM OF HEAVEN(which with its 180+ minute director's cut, might be the best movie of 2005). The fact that you can understand his motivations while unable to see his face, is remarkable.

He absolutley reminded me of Brando in his performance. It was amazing.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning *** 1/2
(Second Viewing)

It is 1969 - the height of the Vietnam War. Two young men are spending a last weekend with their girlfriends before being shipped overseas to the war. At the same time, the only major business - a meat-packing plant - goes out of business. One of the men who works in the plant is Thomas Hewitt - a deformed, demented psychopath who will become known as Leatherface - and when he finds out what is happening he savagely murders the foreman of the plant. The two young men and their girlfriends are headed down a lonely highway when they are involved in an accident that cripples their vehicle. Soon they encounter the sheriff - who is not really the sheriff but the psychopathic uncle of Leatherface - and he kidnaps 3 of them to take them to his home for the developing monster Leatherface to "refine" his murderous abilities. The one girl who escaped unnoticed attempts to rescue them with the help of a biker whose girlfriend was killed by the sheriff, and what follows is a night of sheer terror at the hands of a family of cannibalistic, inbred psychopaths.

This has just catapalted it's way as one of my favorite horror movies of all-time. What isn't to love about this film? It's more disgusting, bloodier and gorier than the 2003 remake. As I said in my first review of this picture, this was a pretty hardcore movie, and the unrated version (which is what I watched today) was even more so. It really pushed the envelope. Jordana Brewster was absolutely gorgeous as the main character, Chrissie and R. Lee Ermey is always the man to watch when onscreen as Sheriff Hoyt. Director Marcus Nispel did a wonderful job restoring this franchise back in 2003 with his remake of the original and I felt this time around director Jonathan Liebesman did a wonderful job picking up where he left off, made the movie his own, and was able to make a more disturbing and enjoyable movie IMO. This was my 9th favorite movie of 2006 and for good reason. I really hope New Line decides to either remake The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (which I have not seen) or just creates a sequel to the 2003 remake.

The Protector * 1/2
(First Viewing)

Kham grew up with elephants in Thailand. Elephants are majestic creatures, bred for peace, but prepared for war. When an evil Asian gang kidnapped the bull and the baby elephant during a festival and smuggled them to Sydney Australia, Kham must travel to a foreign land, and unravel a conspiracy that will reach into the highest strata of Australian law and business circles. With only his Muy Thai fighting techniques, and a disgraced Thai-descent police sergeant, he must reclaim his elephants, and his heritage against almost impossible odds.

Another decent action flick from Tony Jaa. The man is an INCREDIBLE athlete and should be playing in the NBA or NFL, LoL. But seriously, great action scenes with a sub par plot. I watched the uncut international version which was 27 minutes longer than the U.S. version. I did feel this version had a lot of unnecessary scenes that could of (and probably were) cut from the U.S. version. Maybe if I have time I'll check out the U.S. version and maybe I'll enjoy it more than the uncut international version.

All I know is, when TRANSFORMERS crash and burns Michael Bay's career, Irishman will be there to rescue him.

Just on movies he produces, not directs. I'm NOT seeing Transformers.

Employee of the Month ***
(Second Viewing)

At Super Club, a large warehouse store, the employees strive to obtain the "Employee of the Month" award with the benefits of having their picture featured on the wall of fame in the staff lounge. Zack Bradley (Dane Cook), a box boy, and Vince Downey (Dax Shepard), a cashier, are two competitive Super Club employees. Vince has become head cashier of the store and winner of seventeen consecutive "Employee of the Month" awards. Zack, on the other hand, is a slacker but is popular with his colleagues. Zack has not won any "Employee of the Month" awards and has no desire to except when Amy (Jessica Simpson), a new cashier who only dates "Employee of the Month" winners, transfers to the store. Zack and Vince compete to get Amy's attention through competition and courtship. Vince attempts to impress Amy with skills as a cashier and his seventeen "Employee of the Month" awards, while Zack attempts to use several methods of charm and comedy to win her affection. After realizing that Amy is falling for Vince, Zack believes his only chance to get her is to win Super Club's next "Employee of the Month" award.

Again, I think Dane Cook is one of the funniest men alive today and upon a second viewing, Dax Shepard did a really good job too. A good cast with Jessica Simpson, Efren Ramirez, Brian George, Harland Williams, and of course the man himself, Mr. Andy Dick.

Irish, I'll give you this.

You've stayed consistently on a movie thats probably a major contender for the Razzies this time.

Whatever I think you're right or not, is irrelevant. Thats balls to stick it through still now.

Thanks man. We all have our different tastes in movies

Crank *** 1/2
(Second Viewing)

Chev Chelios is a professional assassin working for the West Coast crime syndicate. Chev's girlfriend Eve doesn't know what Chev does and Chev is planning to quit the crime syndicate so he can spend more time with her. But for Chev, things about to get very bad, when he learns he has been injected with a poison called "The Beijing Cocktail" by his rival Verona, which will kill him if his heart rate drops. Trying to stay alive and seeking help from friend, Kaylo and Doc Miles, to keep his heart pumping. Chev sets out to find answers as well as protecting Eve, and get his revenge on those who have betrayed him before the poison kills him.

This is the movie that solidified Jason Statham as my current favorite action hero. I think this film blows the two Transporter movies out of the water. This movie has it all: action, humor, sex, drugs, violence, etc. One of the greatest action films I've seen in recent memory and again, has everything any adrenaline junkie could need or want. I even got to see Dwight Yoakam again as Doctor Miles and it's always a pleasure to view Ms. Amy Smart onscreen.

The Thing *
(First Viewing)

In the midst of the Antartican snowfield, the scientists and workers of a small American research base are shocked when a helicopter begins to circle their camp, chasing and shooting at a dog. When the helicopter is destroyed and the passenger's are killed by accident, the dog is let into the base and the American's begin to wonder what has actually happened. The helicopter is discovered to be of Norweigan make, and probably linked to the Norweigan base not too far from their own. Helicopter pilot J.R MacReady offers to travel to the Norweigan base and find out what has happened. On arrival, he finds that the place has been totally destroyed. He also discovers a mangled body that looks as though it was once that of a person, which he brings back with him to study. It is only then that the clues begin to add up; the dog morphs horribly into a strange creature that attacks the researchers. They manage to fight it off, but the base's doctor has come to a conclusion: an alien with the power to transform and take the appearance of anybody else is amongst them. Who is infected already, and who can be trusted? J.R MacReady sets out to find the answers to exactly that.

I know I'll get some flack from ronnie for this but I found the movie boring. It was disgusting in parts and really the only time there was an excitement was when the alien would transfrom in someone/something. As I've said before I really dig Keith David's work and Kurt Russell had his whole Jeff 'The Dude' Briges look going for him, but other than that I didn't see what was so special about this movie.

Once again, I don't watch a lot of movies, but I was up late last night and switching through the stations, saw that The English Patient was on. I remember it won quite a few awards, so I thought I'd check it out.

Let's just say it wasn't exactly my cup of tea. I think I missed the first 10 minutes, and I tuned out a couple of times for a few minutes. The characters were rather bland and the plot moved so slowly. I forced myself to watch it to its conclusion. Was anyone else bored to death by this movie?

By the way, maybe I tuned out at some crucial moments, but how did the guy get so mangled in the first place. He started to sound like Jeff Goldblum in The Fly.

Fuck THE ENGLISH PATIENT. Oscar bait that hooked, line, and sinkered the AMPAS.

Shit Irish, why should I bother with you?

Only hosers would think THE THING sucked, but liked Bay's quite bloody bad remakes. I'm sure you'll wank all over this thread about how good the pointless THE HITCHER remake is, nevermind the really good original from the 1980s with Rutger "Da Shit" Hauer.

So I'm not surprised.

CHILDREN OF MEN (2006) - *****

Folks, Capo was friggin right.

THE FOUNTAIN is a really great film, but CHILDREN OF MEN is a sci-fi drama where its massive and gaudy autuer ambitions are actually matched. It is the best film fo 2006, and I can't believe that I just saw that year's only masterpiece.

My friend complained that the film was too depressing. That's like saying that STAR WARS is too exciting. CHILDREN OF MEN's future is a depressing reality where there is no hope, personified in British government worker Clive Owen. Women are infertile, mankind will become extinct, and there is nothing that can be done.

Yet after he makes a discovery of a pregnant woman among the ranks of a countryside militia army, he is given a reason to give a damn now. In a time when the government and terrorist militia groups are no better or worse, there is a noble mission now.

Really, it would be a damn shame if this movie doesn't get serious noms, though its probably likely to get script and cinematography nominations.

I'll have to think of more appropriate and dignified words to add in regards to CHILDREN OF MEN, but when the most powerful scene throughout cinema in 2006 is the divine walk through the war-fighting apartment building that force both armed sides to pause to gaze upon an actual miracle, you have a special film that truely should be seen by everyone*.

*=Yes, even Irishman, who'll declare it boring and too long.

CRANK (2006) - ***1/2

Luckily, Irish is right on the money with Jason Statham's newest action-vehicle that did decent business in theatres, but it will go psychopathic on video. Its too rewarding for the action film buff(i.e. most heterosexual men that know better) to not do so.

CRANK isn't the right title for this movie. Of course, people would assume CRACK would be a melodramatic drug ghetto tale, but CRACK is the appropriate name, since CRANK is a movie that in its insanity and gaul that immediately begin, and doesn't pause until the end.

However, Irish should realize that what Directors/Writers Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor pulled off with only $12 million is what Michael Bay and Tony Scott tried and spectacularly fell short with their $100+ million movies. Hell, Neveldine/Taylor's cinematography and visuals remind me of when Oliver Stone was very fresh with this style, before he got self-indulgent.

Maybe why Neveldine/Taylor succeeded where Scott and Bay failed is that the duo matched the stylized narrative to a very lean, mean, simple B-action pulp story. Better yet, and this is what impressed me most, Neveldine/Taylor never once went overboard. Unlike say DOMINO, MAN ON FIRE, or DEJA VUE, I never once got sick of the visuals that get in the damn way of a story, like kidney stones or something.

Hell, I'm sure Tony Scott is crying like a little girl in his Malibu home right now, seeing that two punk kids(compared to the old fart) made a movie that will have actually mattered and made a difference for the often abused Hollywood action genre, while his shit is soon forgotten like Albert Pyun.

Certainly some sequences in CRANK, under any other director, would have totally stunk up the joint like a rotten egg. Having sex in public in Chinatown, snorting cocaine from the floor of a bathroom, making a cell phone while falling from the sky, driving through a mall so careless and unbothered(which I haven't seen this side of BLUES BROTHERS) and other stuff that seem so left field, and yet they work because of the chaos of it.

Hell, I can't wait for Neveldine/Taylor's next work. They are promising people that hopefully don't become the next Tony Scott.

Glad you liked it ronnie. Have you seen or are you gonna see either The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning or Employee of the Month anytime soon?

Funny, I thought I wrote that EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH was a total piece of dogshit moronic comedy, but in case I didn't: EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTHS is a total piece of dogshit moronic comedy.

Besides, Dane Cook is really overrated as a stand-up. Decent, sure. Otherwise, he isn't anymore special than the generic white comic. Let him impress me behind the mic before he jumps to the big screen(though apparently, since EMPLOYEE failed like many of his jokes, he will be forced to. Not like that is a bad thing. Hell, Robin Williams' film career almost died before it began with POPEYE).

Anyway, The biggest reason why I despise the TEXAS CHAINSAW remake from Michael Bay is the cinematography. Everyone looks pretty, the scenery looks pretty. The problem is, so does the gore and the backwoods of Texas(which I've seen, and they aren't pretty).

That's why Rob Zombie impresses me. When he wants to show something that really is a shitty dump, he gives us a shitty dump, whatever it be a run-down gimmick store, trailer park, brothel, etc.

Besides, TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE BEGINNING, amazing how the origin of Leatherface and his precious blade is that its just there, and he picks it up. Wow, how....lame.

I can give you that and also the pretty scenery. Thanks for your side of the story

Unknown **
(First Viewing)

Five men wake up in a locked-down warehouse with no memory of who they are. They are forced to figure out who is good and who is bad to stay alive.

They try to sell this movie as a cross between The Usual Suspects and Memento. I say the premise is more along the lines of Saw then either or those 2 films (without the gore of course), where 5 guys wake up a in a room and don't know who they are or how they got there. A great cast including James Caviezel, Greg Kinnear, Bridget Moynahan, Joe Pantoliano, Barry Pepper, and Jeremy Sisto. An interesting story but nowhere near as good as a Usual Suspects or Memento. For whatever reason, the story just didn't hold me in suspense until the very end like those movies did.

Edward Norton is my favorite actor... But if you want to further explore his amazing talent, check out Fight Club if you haven't already done so. It's my favorite film of his, and although many people rate his performance just a small notch below that of American History X, I think they're about on the same tier. I'd also reccomend 25th Hour, Down in the Valley, and Rounders above Smoochy (although, Smoochy is excellent in its own way. And very funny, I will add).

I'm a closet fan of Dane Cook's standup. His movies are shit, but I silently enjoy his stand up. I think the problem is that he is over-praised. I wouldn't say over-rated, just over-praised. Too many beer-drinking, testostorone-overdriven, sexually awkward (you know... "yer ghey!") college frat boys enjoy his work, and that makes it difficult for me to watch his performances in a crowded room without strangling every single person in that room with my thighs while I force a bottle of excedrin down their throats with my right hand, and slip sheets of blotter into their drinks with my left. It's a mere curse.

Prey *
(First Viewing)

An American family on holiday in Africa becomes lost in a game reserve and stalked by lions.

Basically this is an 80 minute movie about a family hiding in a car, trying not to get eaten alive by lions, tigers and others who are Africa's finest. THAT'S IT! However, this is based on true events that just didn't work well for a movie. Sure, Bridget Moynahan is hot but take that away from the film and it's complete SH*T! On second thought, you can add that to the film and you'll still come out with the same result.

The Marine ** 1/2
(First Viewing)

A group of diamond thieves on the run kidnap the wife of a recently discharged marine who goes on a chase through the South Carolinian wilderness to retrieve her.

WWE films succeeds again in its second endeavor The Marine, although it wasn't superior to it's first release, See No Evil. This movie did for explosions what Assault on Precinct 13 did for head shots. I counted at least 13 explosions throughout the course of this movie, so nobody has any substance in their argument that the movie didn't have explosions or action. Also, it wasn't as well done as Crank but it was still an enjoyable action movie with some pretty modest humor. I am looking forward to (and might actually see, depending on how the trailer looks), WWE's third feature length film, The Condemned starring 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin due to be released on April 27th.

I first remember seeing him in a movie where he was on trial for murder in a case that involved the arch-bishop of Boston. I thought he was great in that film.