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Can be a criminal and a good father ? #876850
02/27/16 03:49 PM
02/27/16 03:49 PM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 7,243
naples,italy
furio_from_naples Offline OP
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naples,italy
Kuklinsky was killer but also a good father and a good husband;michael mancuso killed his wife but went to the daughter first comunion (who know if she was happy of it ?);the bellomo daughter said that his father was a good person and spilotro Cooke everyday the breakfast and want that his son must go to Scholl and so on.

For you is possible that a person will be a sociopat killer but once turned back to home was a completly different person ?

Re: Can be a criminal and a good father ? [Re: furio_from_naples] #876879
02/27/16 07:40 PM
02/27/16 07:40 PM
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getthesenets Offline
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Furio,

person who enters a life of crime knows that prison or early death are part of the life. A good father tries to make sure that he's THERE to support and protect his family.

A criminal can be good at the details of raising a family, but unless he's doing the criminal stuff as a means to an end with plans of leaving it behind....he's not a good father overall.

Re: Can be a criminal and a good father ? [Re: furio_from_naples] #876886
02/27/16 10:26 PM
02/27/16 10:26 PM
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Boss_of_Knickerbocker Offline
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This is the funny thing about the Italian mafia.

Almost all of those guys were fathers, husbands, and somewhat family-oriented. This is the opposite of many gangstas today who come from fatherless homes, and the absence of a father is blamed for their delinquency.

Re: Can be a criminal and a good father ? [Re: getthesenets] #876903
02/28/16 07:08 AM
02/28/16 07:08 AM
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naples,italy
furio_from_naples Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: getthesenets
Furio,

person who enters a life of crime knows that prison or early death are part of the life. A good father tries to make sure that he's THERE to support and protect his family.

A criminal can be good at the details of raising a family, but unless he's doing the criminal stuff as a means to an end with plans of leaving it behind....he's not a good father overall.


What would say it possibile that a criminal that kill,sell drugs ecc when turn back home become a completly different person.
Kuklinsky's wife was shocked when know that his husband was a serial killer,sure he often beat her but the next day buy her flowers and apologize,kuklinsky said that admited the 5 murders for avoid to his family the shame and let that his wife (he don't ask for the divorcembut richard want to divorce) and sons to don't be market as iceman sons.
However even bikers ,gang members ecc had family.

I trought if one of more of us can split the criminal life from the family life.

Re: Can be a criminal and a good father ? [Re: furio_from_naples] #876909
02/28/16 08:15 AM
02/28/16 08:15 AM
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Chicago
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CabriniGreen Offline
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A kinda good example is that book by Roy's son, Albert;


It was surprising how he was able to compartmentalize the violence, with his affection for his family, plus he left em with some dough to sit on.....


Doesn't excuse him but, I'm sure there are lots of examples....

Re: Can be a criminal and a good father ? [Re: CabriniGreen] #876910
02/28/16 08:36 AM
02/28/16 08:36 AM
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naples,italy
furio_from_naples Offline OP
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naples,italy
Originally Posted By: CabriniGreen
A kinda good example is that book by Roy's son, Albert;


It was surprising how he was able to compartmentalize the violence, with his affection for his family, plus he left em with some dough to sit on.....


Doesn't excuse him but, I'm sure there are lots of examples....


This is what I means. An another example was kuklinsky.

Re: Can be a criminal and a good father ? [Re: furio_from_naples] #876912
02/28/16 09:06 AM
02/28/16 09:06 AM
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Central Iowa
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Chance Offline
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Reminds me of a quote from one of my favorite characters on TV

Quote:
I've known good criminals and bad cops, bad priests, honorable thieves. You can be on one side of the law or the other, but if you make a deal with somebody, you keep your word. You can go home today with your money and never do this again, but you took soemthing that wasn't yours and you sold it for a profit. You are now a criminal. Good one, bad one, that's up to you.


Not exactly about being a father but I still think it fits. Bonus points to whoever can name the show and the character who said it.

Re: Can be a criminal and a good father ? [Re: furio_from_naples] #876914
02/28/16 09:20 AM
02/28/16 09:20 AM
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BillyBrizzi Offline
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Mike from Better call Saul, he said that to that bald headed 'dealer' with the Minnesota accent and the ridiculous Hummer :-)

That geek works IT at a pharmaceutical company and steals pain pills to sell to some cholos.. In the new season he thought he could do without Mike, we all saw how that worked out LOL

Last edited by BillyBrizzi; 02/28/16 09:27 AM.

FORTIS FORTUNA IUVAT
Re: Can be a criminal and a good father ? [Re: furio_from_naples] #876917
02/28/16 10:26 AM
02/28/16 10:26 AM
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blueracing347 Offline
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I read 3/4 of Kuklinsky's book before I realized it was all bullshit. I recall it saying how he was a shitty father and husband. He would force his wife to have sex. He beat her often enough that the son wanted to kill him. One of the daughters lost her virginity out of spite towards her dad. That being said, he sounds like a douche. Demeo on the other hand, was a good father and husband according to Albert's book. In my opininion I think if you get involved in that life you should love your family and set them up bc one day you're number will be called. Didnt Leonetti turn out to be a good dad? But don't they put their familia before their family when taking the ultimate vow? That right there shows their priorities. I wanted better for my kids, so I made goals and achieved them. Thats what my dad instilled in me and thats what I will do with my sons. Isnt that the American dream? Fuck those guys. How many times do we hear that this one could have been a ceo? They shouldve been, but they want the easy way out.

Re: Can be a criminal and a good father ? [Re: furio_from_naples] #876923
02/28/16 12:05 PM
02/28/16 12:05 PM
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SonnyBlackstein Offline
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Kuklinski was a horrendous father and husband. He used to beat the living fuck out of all of them on a regular basis.

To answer the thread, no. Can u be a criminal and a good father.

A major job as a father is to be a role model. Children emulate their parents.
And being a criminal you fail as a positive role model in a child's life. Therefor failing at one of your most important jobs as a parent.


MORGAN: Why didn't you fight him at the park if you wanted to? I'm not goin' now, I'm eatin' my snack.
CHUCKIE: Morgan, Let's go.
MORGAN: I'm serious Chuckie, I ain't goin'.
WILL: So don't go.
Re: Can be a criminal and a good father ? [Re: SonnyBlackstein] #876949
02/28/16 06:34 PM
02/28/16 06:34 PM
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Posts: 7,243
naples,italy
furio_from_naples Offline OP
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naples,italy
Originally Posted By: SonnyBlackstein
Kuklinski was a horrendous father and husband. He used to beat the living fuck out of all of them on a regular basis.

To answer the thread, no. Can u be a criminal and a good father.

A major job as a father is to be a role model. Children emulate their parents.
And being a criminal you fail as a positive role model in a child's life. Therefor failing at one of your most important jobs as a parent.


I saw in a documentary that his wife said that yes kuklinsky beat her but after apologize with her with a Flower and go out for a dinner and that never beate his sons. Kuklinsky in a interview said that declare guilty of the 5 murders because in this mode his family can avoid the media and that ever the wife dont want to divorce but Richard said her to made a new life away from him.
Now I dont want to defend him but at last was a decente father.

Sonny I think that even if someone was a criminal and do the impossibile for dont let his sons follow his way is a good father.

Re: Can be a criminal and a good father ? [Re: furio_from_naples] #876953
02/28/16 08:12 PM
02/28/16 08:12 PM
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SonnyBlackstein Offline
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Originally Posted By: furio_from_naples
Now I dont want to defend him but at last was a decente father.

Sonny I think that even if someone was a criminal and do the impossibile for dont let his sons follow his way is a good father.


1. Kuklinsky was not a decent father Furio.
2. A father should lead by example Furio. In this day and age being a member of LCN in the US is a choice. It's not the only road open to young Italian males who wanted to be more than ditch diggers as it was once. And a father who chooses that lifestyle is not a good parent.


MORGAN: Why didn't you fight him at the park if you wanted to? I'm not goin' now, I'm eatin' my snack.
CHUCKIE: Morgan, Let's go.
MORGAN: I'm serious Chuckie, I ain't goin'.
WILL: So don't go.
Re: Can be a criminal and a good father ? [Re: furio_from_naples] #876954
02/28/16 08:21 PM
02/28/16 08:21 PM
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IvyLeague Offline
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You can't be a criminal and a good father. Period.

They are mutually exclusive.


Mods should mind their own business and leave poster's profile signatures alone.
Re: Can be a criminal and a good father ? [Re: furio_from_naples] #876984
02/29/16 04:15 AM
02/29/16 04:15 AM
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Chicago
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CabriniGreen Offline
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This kinda reminds me of a Soprano scene, " The bookies son is a cardiologist? Nice...."




I feel like you guys really mean, you can't be a cold blooded murderer and be a good dad, cause I mean, come on guys, a BOOKIE is a bad role model, lol....
Again, how many street guys y'all actually come into contact with? Cause there is a lotta grey, it's not all black and white...

Re: Can be a criminal and a good father ? [Re: furio_from_naples] #876986
02/29/16 05:31 AM
02/29/16 05:31 AM
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Posts: 7,243
naples,italy
furio_from_naples Offline OP
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An Italian proverb says : you do what I say and don't do what I did. With the translation loses some sense in the original is "fate ciò che vi dico e non fate come me".

Re: Can be a criminal and a good father ? [Re: furio_from_naples] #877036
02/29/16 05:20 PM
02/29/16 05:20 PM
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cookcounty Offline
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of course you can be a crook and a good father

just like a legitimate job having dad can be a horrible father

Re: Can be a criminal and a good father ? [Re: furio_from_naples] #877061
02/29/16 06:54 PM
02/29/16 06:54 PM
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Belmont Offline
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You cant be a good father from jail. All criminals eventually go to jail. A good father sets an example, children learn what they observe, not neccesarily what they are told. Seriously, " hey son, dont lie, cheat, and steal. By the way, i will see you in five years, im going to do a bid".
My answer would be no.

Re: Can be a criminal and a good father ? [Re: cookcounty] #877083
03/01/16 12:32 AM
03/01/16 12:32 AM
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IvyLeague Offline
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Originally Posted By: cookcounty
of course you can be a crook and a good father

just like a legitimate job having dad can be a horrible father


Another pearl of wisdom from cookcounty.

You truly are a national treasure.


Mods should mind their own business and leave poster's profile signatures alone.
Re: Can be a criminal and a good father ? [Re: furio_from_naples] #877084
03/01/16 12:53 AM
03/01/16 12:53 AM
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Posts: 177
Westchester
Frankie_Five_Angels Offline
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Westchester
I'm sure some of these guys are/were able to actually hide their involvement until their kids are/were almost adults.


"I'll give you undignified. Go fuck yourself. You, Phil... whoever. He's my fuckin' cousin."

"My name is George. I'm unemployed and live with my parents"..
Re: Can be a criminal and a good father ? [Re: furio_from_naples] #877092
03/01/16 06:40 AM
03/01/16 06:40 AM
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Posts: 1,653
Chicago
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CabriniGreen Offline
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This is a thread that more than ever convinces me, a lot of people don't get the streets;


They might read about the mob and what not, but it's almost like they don't understand LIFE lol...


Roy was brought up, you know what's ironic? HE came from a decent family, should have been a doctor. Grew up next to the Profaci boys, and his mother didn't want him around em cause she thought they would be a bad influence. But THEY ENDED UP LEGIT AND UPSTANDING, while he bacame a serial killer. GO FIGURE. Sammy the bull, came from good parents, but ended up a criminal. John Gottis father WASNT A CRIMINAL, but Gotti ended up as one.
Scarfo, had a son that followed everything he did, and had another who was legit that fought with him, disagreed with him all the time. How do you account for that?

It's easy to just blame the fathers or the environment, but look deeper.
Scarfs father was legit, he didn't respect him BECAUSE OF IT. Was his father a bum for not being able to afford a nicer neighborhood, for getting up and going to work? Roy was bullied, plus he had a bad reaction to the death of his brother, these emotional issues have to be taken into account. Gottis father wasn't a criminal, but he was fuckin broke, all the time, and Gotti couldn't take this. THATS not a good role model for a young man, trust me, and this had a huge effect on Gotti turning to the streets. Gravano, if the teachers coulda diagnosed his dyslexia, who knows? Going to school and feeling like a moron is not an empowering thing, Luciano had a similar sentiment.

I love the movie the Bronx tale, how he tells the kid over and over he lives a bullshit life, and when he dies, no one will give a fuck. Roy looked his son in the eyes and told him he was going to hell. That's real as fuck...


To say' all kids emulate their fathers, like they don't have a fuckin brain of their own. How's that different from say a black person blaming the environment, and people saying suck it up, take responsibility for your life, same thing.


Like y'all are funny, fuck fathers, I come from a family where EVERYONE IS ABOUT THAT LIFE. My GRANDMOTHER ran a whorehouse outta Bull Tavern on the west side in the 50s. Two of her employees were her DAUGHTERS, one did time for stabbing a chick in the throat, and killing her.
HER son got locked up at 14, blasting at the police like it was legal, and got shot the fuck up and cuffed to a hospital bed. Both my parents were heroin addicts.
I mentioned before my cousin was Larry Hoovers last appointed Board Member, and HIS brother was more respected than he was. I mean all my people just stuck in it. Well, I was the fuckin anomaly, the smart kid. You think I got a gold star for staying away? I was practically a pariah, and thats my point, you have to have internal fortitude man. I crack up at the Sopranos, cause I KNOW THESE PEOPLE, I'm not Italian, but I got 5 Janice's in my family. My moms is a carbon copy of Livia, right down to the dead father who's permantly a "Saint", and the obsession with mothers killing their kids. It's eerie... Lol

Ok, rant over, it's just like how are you guys so black and white with this one is beyond me..

Re: Can be a criminal and a good father ? [Re: furio_from_naples] #877093
03/01/16 07:00 AM
03/01/16 07:00 AM
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Posts: 4,653
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There's a criminal and a criminal. Of course criminal guys with the image of Vito Genovese, Kuklinski, DeStefano or Nicky Barnes cannot be good parents or husbands, but there are educated criminals on high positions within the system, who gets away with crime on daily basis. I have dozen of examples in my life, when a lot of people and government agencies knew who these people were and what they did, but nobody ever had the chance to catch them. These guys were present on the black market with cigarettes, gas, oil, etc. God knows if anyone was ever killed over it. They got away with it maybe because they had government connections, maybe because they paid off the right people, maybe because they operated under the radar, maybe they were lucky, which i highly doubt...what ever was the reason, these people were always around their families, neighbours,friends and now, around their grandchildren. They were normal family guys in suits, always around their families. Period. I know this for sure. None of these guys ever hit their women or children.They were and still are high class families with huge respect in their own country(i say their "own country" because i think that some of these families are forever banned from the U.S. and other countries). Now they are legit(or for the last 16 years) or live under high government pensions and smile as they think of their already invested ex-dirty cash around the country and also around the world.Their children have their own families and they all have good jobs and happy marriages and im almost sure that they are all well informed about their fathers past activities.


He who can never endure the bad will never see the good
Re: Can be a criminal and a good father ? [Re: furio_from_naples] #877096
03/01/16 07:59 AM
03/01/16 07:59 AM
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Serpiente Offline
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Right on Toodoped many of the old timers got in it for the good of it .

We all have a little of these guys in "US" And if you don't well I guess you we raised far for east coast .

Last edited by Serpiente; 03/01/16 10:33 AM.

Cackling like a banty Rooster.

I love this," "I just love this."
Re: Can be a criminal and a good father ? [Re: Serpiente] #877097
03/01/16 08:27 AM
03/01/16 08:27 AM
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Originally Posted By: Serpiente
Right on Toodoped many of the old timers got in it for the good of it .

We all have a little of these guys in U.S. And if you don't well I guess you we raised far for east coast .


These guys started with the fall of Yugoslavia and controlled the East European market during the 90's with connections to Russia, U.S., Italy and England. Some of them lost a lot of their investments in the U.S.(mostly Florida) like real estate, since they got banned from there. Plus these guys were not some ordinary shady businessmen, some of them were pure samurai. One example is when a 70 year old guy learns about him having a terminal cancer, then the guy locks himself in his toilet at home, takes a gun and shoots himself right in the heart so he can have an open coffin. Nobody knew about the suicide, instead the news were that a famous businessman died of cancer.And that was that. During his funeral, suddenly a number of black mercedes cars with russian, serbian or albanian licence plates rolled by and more than 50 guys in black suits, golden chains and dark shades paid their last respects. Not much of guys like these still around. So my point was, believe it or not, these people were all about their families, which of course its a rare example.

It mostly depends of the kind of person that you are, no matter if you're criminal or not.


He who can never endure the bad will never see the good
Re: Can be a criminal and a good father ? [Re: CabriniGreen] #877105
03/01/16 11:19 AM
03/01/16 11:19 AM
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SonnyBlackstein Offline
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Originally Posted By: CabriniGreen
This is a thread that more than ever convinces me, a lot of people don't get the streets....... They might read about the mob and what not, but it's almost like they don't understand LIFE lol...


Was it only me who appreciates the irony of CabriniGreen talking about how people don't understand the streets, only what they read, then proceeding to talk about Demeo, Luciano, Gotti and Scarfo.

@CabriniGreen: no one is saying children have to emulate their parents. But to say they don't is simply naive.

ALL children learn from their parents.

Last edited by SonnyBlackstein; 03/01/16 11:19 AM.

MORGAN: Why didn't you fight him at the park if you wanted to? I'm not goin' now, I'm eatin' my snack.
CHUCKIE: Morgan, Let's go.
MORGAN: I'm serious Chuckie, I ain't goin'.
WILL: So don't go.
Re: Can be a criminal and a good father ? [Re: CabriniGreen] #877109
03/01/16 01:25 PM
03/01/16 01:25 PM
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Originally Posted By: CabriniGreen
This is a thread that more than ever convinces me, a lot of people don't get the streets;


They might read about the mob and what not, but it's almost like they don't understand LIFE lol...


Roy was brought up, you know what's ironic? HE came from a decent family, should have been a doctor. Grew up next to the Profaci boys, and his mother didn't want him around em cause she thought they would be a bad influence. But THEY ENDED UP LEGIT AND UPSTANDING, while he bacame a serial killer. GO FIGURE. Sammy the bull, came from good parents, but ended up a criminal. John Gottis father WASNT A CRIMINAL, but Gotti ended up as one.
Scarfo, had a son that followed everything he did, and had another who was legit that fought with him, disagreed with him all the time. How do you account for that?

It's easy to just blame the fathers or the environment, but look deeper.
Scarfs father was legit, he didn't respect him BECAUSE OF IT. Was his father a bum for not being able to afford a nicer neighborhood, for getting up and going to work? Roy was bullied, plus he had a bad reaction to the death of his brother, these emotional issues have to be taken into account. Gottis father wasn't a criminal, but he was fuckin broke, all the time, and Gotti couldn't take this. THATS not a good role model for a young man, trust me, and this had a huge effect on Gotti turning to the streets. Gravano, if the teachers coulda diagnosed his dyslexia, who knows? Going to school and feeling like a moron is not an empowering thing, Luciano had a similar sentiment.

I love the movie the Bronx tale, how he tells the kid over and over he lives a bullshit life, and when he dies, no one will give a fuck. Roy looked his son in the eyes and told him he was going to hell. That's real as fuck...


To say' all kids emulate their fathers, like they don't have a fuckin brain of their own. How's that different from say a black person blaming the environment, and people saying suck it up, take responsibility for your life, same thing.


Like y'all are funny, fuck fathers, I come from a family where EVERYONE IS ABOUT THAT LIFE. My GRANDMOTHER ran a whorehouse outta Bull Tavern on the west side in the 50s. Two of her employees were her DAUGHTERS, one did time for stabbing a chick in the throat, and killing her.
HER son got locked up at 14, blasting at the police like it was legal, and got shot the fuck up and cuffed to a hospital bed. Both my parents were heroin addicts.
I mentioned before my cousin was Larry Hoovers last appointed Board Member, and HIS brother was more respected than he was. I mean all my people just stuck in it. Well, I was the fuckin anomaly, the smart kid. You think I got a gold star for staying away? I was practically a pariah, and thats my point, you have to have internal fortitude man. I crack up at the Sopranos, cause I KNOW THESE PEOPLE, I'm not Italian, but I got 5 Janice's in my family. My moms is a carbon copy of Livia, right down to the dead father who's permantly a "Saint", and the obsession with mothers killing their kids. It's eerie... Lol

Ok, rant over, it's just like how are you guys so black and white with this one is beyond me..


It's not that kids always emulate their parents. The question is wether you can be a criminal and still be a good father. The answer is still no.
Forget the exceptions.

Now, if your father is a criminal, it doesn't mean you will become a criminal or have some kind of horrible and tragic life. It could simply mean your life would've been better had your father not been a criminal. The anxiety and shit you go through when you have to worry about a close family member that is at risk of going to prison or being killed anytime alone is enough to say being a criminal makes you a bad father in many ways. Kids don't choose their parents so it's on parents not to make their children's lives hell.
Doesn't mean that kids are doomed to a life a crime. It might make it more likely though.

Another thing, NOT being a criminal and a parent doesn't make you a good parent. We always hear this or that gangster came from "good parents" but truth is we don't know how good they were. Maybe on paper they were good. They didn't break the law and run a criminal organization. So what? They could've been assholes for all we know. They could've beat their kids, or simply not paid attention to them, who knows.

I feel the same about The Sopranos. My dad is a gang member and my mom is the exact same personality type as Tony Sopranos mom. That show is amazing to me.
Overall as a kid a lot of this caused dysfunction in me and I dabbled in the streets myself but overall I made it out without a criminal record even though I went though so much. Had my parents made different decisions though, my life would've been so much more productive. Basically they didn't cause me to fail at life but they did set me back.
The truth is somewhere in the middle.

Re: Can be a criminal and a good father ? [Re: furio_from_naples] #877115
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Good post SolCal


MORGAN: Why didn't you fight him at the park if you wanted to? I'm not goin' now, I'm eatin' my snack.
CHUCKIE: Morgan, Let's go.
MORGAN: I'm serious Chuckie, I ain't goin'.
WILL: So don't go.
Re: Can be a criminal and a good father ? [Re: furio_from_naples] #877222
03/02/16 11:05 PM
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@ solcal


You know what I'm talking about my friend......

Re: Can be a criminal and a good father ? [Re: SonnyBlackstein] #877223
03/02/16 11:09 PM
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@Sonny

I gave you examples YOU could relate to and understand, cause I know all you guys are familiar with the subject matter...


You guys DONT EVEN RESPECT STREET KNOWLEDGE, not really, not unless it came from the papers, or some website, or a book, or something you can tangibly look at.... To be honest, in the real life section, I expected a lot more real life stuff from people... Lol

Re: Can be a criminal and a good father ? [Re: furio_from_naples] #877224
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Also what I was saying, is that you make it seem as if shit is a foregone conclusion, you a criminal you are bad, I say depends on what kind of criminal, and indeed, what kind of person you are..



This reminded me of Moes post, where he tried to say Bellomos daughter was basically tainted forever cause her father was a gangster, this sounds like the same, but with the parents. I guess my only point you can't really make a statement like that, if you don't really interact with that element on a consistent basis. My point was there is grey areas, a guy might be desperate once, get caught, I don't think that makes him a bad father. You could steal to feed your kids.....

Re: Can be a criminal and a good father ? [Re: furio_from_naples] #877226
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@Sonny

I actually have COUNTLESS examples from real life, you think I make sense of the mob from just reading? 90% of these mob moves I've seen in REAL LIFE, that's why they are instantly familiar to me, sometimes I can't even exactly explain it right away, I just get it....... If I referenced something from my life, you wouldn't get it right away, EVERYONE WATCHED THE SOPRANOS...


Remember the episode about the degenerate gambling father? Tony talking about what a great father STONE GANGSTER pussy was? That show touched on these themes as well, A.J. Was a wreck, meadow wasn't.



I think the only only thing I don't like is the blanket statement that NO YOU CANT, cause life is grey.

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