I recently found out I have ADHD-PI which is more commonly (and correctly) known as ADD.



I have every single one of those. I have failed out of college, racked up massive debt, bounced from job to job, and argued with my wife so damn much over something that could have been fixed so when people say ADHD is a gift, it really pisses me off. No one would choose to have it.

I am 26 years old and more than a little bitter about no one catching this before. So many things could have been different. It just feels like no one cared enough to notice. And now I am really far behind as far as career or anything else because of it.

I do feel glad to know because now I can look for ways to change things and to work with my ADD. I have already noticed a small improvement, which in reality is a big improvement.

Do you have any experience with ADD/ADHD?

Good for you!! I hope you take advantage of whatever help is available to you.

I haven't told anyone about it except for my wife. I don't know why, I just haven't.

My 14 year old Son has it. The Doc put him on Adderall. He lost weight cuz it supressed his appetite. He also had some mood swings. It really helped him out.

LN, it runs in our family, and it's very difficult to live with if it's not diagnosed and treated. You're often made to feel like a failure, when that's the furthest thing from the truth.

The best thing I can tell you is to try to create coping mechanisms. Write things down. Start a notebook and carry it everywhere with you. If you keep copious notes, it makes things so much easier for you to stay organized. Folders, binders, whatever it takes, just keep experimenting until you find something that works for you.

Also, don't try to multitask. Do one thing until it's finished, then move on to the next. Do your best to focus on the one task in front of you. For example, if you go into your bedroom with the following list:

Make bed
Pick up clothes off floor
Sort laundry
Wash clothes

Chances are, you'll end up on a semi-made bed playing a video game. You need to concentrate on finishing #1 before even thinking about Nos. 2-4.

If you are taking prescription drugs for it, remember to also implement behavioral training at the same time.

I wish you the best of luck.

When you've got a lot on and can't imagine seeing light at the end of the tunnel, making lists is a great way of maintaining encouragement; something as simple as ticking off something on your list becomes very rewarding.

I think you can ask most people and they will say they suffer from most, if not all, of the above statements. That's not to say I doubt your diagnosis of it Longneck - as I don't but most people faced with tasks that aren't very interesting to the individual (chores, duties, work etc.) will find themselves easily distracted. I just think these are common symptoms for most of us.

Without even looking into scientific studies I bet ADD is on the increase and two of the reasons for that must surely include diet and people's social habits have changed/evolved.

Firstly - we know for a fact that a poor diet (and lack of excercise) leads to the inability to concentrate properly. Either you're not receiving enough nutrients to give the body what it requires to maintain function or you're too sugared/caffeined up to focus on one particular task.

Secondly - regarding social habits, a few of you will be reading this from your laptops whilst keeping one eye on television. Many of you will have been brought up with video games and TV as your main source of entertainment, or even Facebook/Gangster BB. We're being brought up with so many distractions in our lives that we struggle to deal with and focus on just one task.

My plan for today includes about 9 chores. I guarantee I'll start all of them and complete about 50% of them. As I'll have forgot what I've started and move onto (or back to) something else. At work I'm exactly the same - it'll start off by reading an email which prompts me to start a project (because I need to start it straight away with so many ideas in my head), but then I'll revert back to my email, which may prompt me to start something else. Before I know it I've got about 3 emails I've started, 2 Word docs and about 4 Excel spreadsheets going at the same time.

I certainly fit most of the criteria in Longneck's post above, it's definitely affected my school/Uni grades and possibly it's an influence in why I've not advanced in work as much as I would have liked. But I'm not sure about having ADD. I recently showed an end of year school report I had to my girlfriend which had the running theme in each subject as "Has the ability but could try a lot harder".

Perhaps it's worth asking ourselves: Do we have a genuine attention deficiency, or is it more likely that we shy away from hard work?

Oh and by the way it had taken me about 45 minutes to type this as I attempted to formulate my arguments coherently, with my laptop on my lap, in bed, whilst I watch the Australian Open Men's final and also every now and then cleaning my room.

I get the kids to do all the chores in my house, works every time.

On a more serious note, LN you have my sympathies and i hope you can work through it!

The first time I read this thread, I decided not to post to it. Then I came back to it and read what others had posted to it and again just kept quiet. Then today I thought that after waiting that I would add a few lines to it.

I have a sister and two cousins diagnosed with it in the early years of their lives I have lived around it so long that I sometimes forget about the subject. At one time it seems like teachers and doctors used this as a catch phrase to cover so many things.
Before that they often said these were just bad kids, problem children, Slow, or several other terms. That is all you would hear them use about children and some young adults. Blame everything on it. And so often the cry would always be to put them on drugs. You must put your kid on drugs. If one doesn't work, try another! We don't want them in school without something.

The nights I would hear my parents and my aunt and uncle talking about what they had learned from hours and hours of reading up on the subject, going to doctors and sharing with each other about it all. It was a major concern in our homes.

I remember my mother, always crying. Reading everything she could, about diets, food allergies, and anything she would hear about that may help. My sister was non stop since being born. Never sitting still, always on the move. She would get into everything. You had to keep an eye on her every min. a chatter box, always talking or singing. To this day she has a love of music and a great voice also.

Over the years my parents were always going up to the school. Along with other parents with kids who need the same kind of help. Fighting for help in the school system is like pulling teeth. They had told every teacher about her needs each year and their contract number if they had any problems, questions or concerns. Just call.

Often they would go up just to see where they had my sister placed in the classroom. A few times they found her pushed to the very back corner of the room. Isolated away from everyone, next to the window mind you. Just what a person who has trouble paying attention needs- to look out the window! To keep her busy....out in no man land, being written off. Then they would pass her with fake grades to move her along. Big Mistake!
Some friends overheard my folks talking to another family about what they were going thru. They also had the same problem and they knew other also. Stories started coming out. Kids were being almost pushed out of school without proper educations or ridden so hard that the kids hated going to a school that they had no love for. They would just drop out. It came out that kids were being told by teachers that at 16 that they could stop going to school if they didn't like.???? Other teachers were so strict that on the smallest things, that parents felt that it was to drive kids out so only kids that could pass all the state mandated test were left. Keeping their average up.

A group seemed to form, Pop being known in the community started getting phone calls from people. Even from people who's children had grown up and were out of the school system. Mad about what had happen to them over the years. He couldn't believe everything he was hearing, it wasn't just our family. Word Spread. Families got together. Meetings were held, a attorney came forward and before long the School board had a real problem on their hands.

Now the School District has a bigger special needs program, that is after several people were asked to step down, asked to retire or seem to move on to a different school districts.It isn't perfect by any means, but something is a whole lot better then nothing.

I have read several good posts here. First step, realize that YOU have the problem, and it is up to YOU to work on it.

"I am 26 years old and more than a little bitter about no one catching this before. So many things could have been different. It just feels like no one cared enough to notice. And now I am really far behind as far as career or anything else because of it. "

I know what you are feeling, my friend. I hope my sisters story shows you how hard it is even if you have someone catch it and work with you to help. Mom said that she can only remember three teachers in all those classes in all those years that really did something other then give lip service and blow smoke. My Mothers cried the night she heard that she was retiring. A lady that took interest in children like the old days. One in a million. I guess you just have to blame the system.

Pop swears that so many of the doctors ( and there were a good many) knew shit about helping many of the kids with this problem back then. So many jumped on the bandwagon charging hundreds an hour, taking money with little help to the kids. It was a Doctors holiday going in twice a week, an hour in the office and another in the travel time and waiting, filling out paper, etc.

A good word is Routine! Make one! and keep it! Your Diet, your Meds, and sleep if you can! Being the big three!

Don't take on more then you can handle, don't set yourself up for failure.
Finish one thing before starting another. Learn to tell people no.

Stay out of what I call the drama shop. Something my sister can never do. She in involved with everyone, their lives and their problems She has enough of her own, mind you. But others seem to be more important then hers.

Keep your hygiene up. If you dwell on one thing, make this your area. Brush your teeth, shower and keep your clothes up and neet.

Seek out others who can help you or offer suggestions that may know somethings...
don't expect things to change overnight. One step at a time my friend.


Oh and for crying out loud...don't use it as an excuse! You will burn every bridge out there if you do.

Good post, fs. Thanks for sharing that.

FS, as a mom who has gone through some of what your parents did, I was both touched and angered by your post. All I hear about is that yes, we pay high taxes, but what a fabulous education our children get! And yet your family's story is not an unfamiliar one. Why should we have to fight tooth and nail for something that should be given by right?

Thank you so much for sharing.

Frustration is a more fitting word I think. As A mother I am sure that you felt the same way, that my parents did going thru it. Trying to help their child. Fighting to keep your child from falling between the cracks and down a dark hole....

My aunt used to say that add/adhd is the hidden disability that since you don't see it outright it is very easy for others to bash or outright hate the person for. One of her boys are doing well, the other not so good.

I have seen the tremendous stress that it has put on both my parents, and their fear of what the future will bring.
just when things feel quiet out there another shoe drops- I am sure you know that feeling.

Our Family Dentist has a 38 year old daughter who still has trouble making friends, holding a job or keeping a relationship. Even if he makes sure to pay her rent and other bills. He was always told that she would outgrow it.....I wouldn't say outgrow it, but I would say that you hope they learn to coupe with it.

Coping mechanisms are so important. The meds may help, but behavioral training needs to go hand-in-hand with it.

I thought that one teacher summed it up beautifully. She said that you wouldn't expect a child to run up a hill with a broken leg, so you shouldn't expect an attention deficit child to focus on the task at hand.

Thoughtful and engaging topic, folks. Thanks.

I definitely feel your pain, LN. As far as the career stuff goes it sounds simple but I guess you just have to find something that YOU like, something you're good at, ya know? You never have a problem winning all of those fantasy football leagues b/c you're interested in it and it's fun for you. Same goes with a career, if you're lucky enough, you never have to truly work a day in your life.

Stay positive though, and continue to count all of your blessings, which I know you have a bountiful supply of!

So True...
I talk to my mother earlier tonight and told her what I have been doing tonight. The subject here on the boards...after a long sigh.....

It never failed she said. If the teacher left the room and all the children starting talking loudly and goofing around, mine would be the loudest, push and shove the hardest and when the teacher would come on back the others would turn off like a switch, but not mine, it just wasn't possible so she would take the blunt of the teachers anger.

I always had to ask? was everyone doing it or just mine?

and you were no angel she said. Teachers calling saying that you don't pay attention in class, always the joker. Yet, your work was always done, on time and your grades were almost perfect. Bored you were they said, go figure. There was nothing they could do to you but ask for you to be push ahead.
Why couldn't things be more balanced between you kids she laughed?

I don't think you understand anything about the severity of those symptoms or what it's like, your whole post was insulting to me.

It's not about being lazy, it can wreck your entire life if you let it. And to this point I had been because I didn't know why I was like this.

You can get half those things done? Cool, I'd be lucky to get that far. It took me about 10 hours to put my daughter's Christmas present together. My wife constantly asks me to pay attention to her, and I'm trying. I really really try but there is so much going on. I am always having to ask her to repeat things because I zone out in the middle of a fucking sentence. If the TV is on and she talks to me I try to pay attention to both and don't hear either. I can't finish a book, I'll start 4 at a time and read here or there until I get bored.

Not to mention all the fucking things I forget. I will get in the shower (not frequently enough) and not grab a towel beforehand. I will go to the post office but leave the mail at home. I lose my phone at least 3 times a day.

I failed every single online class I took the last few semesters of college and they were all online.

When I see a list I see the 5-10+ different things you have to do in order to complete the 1 thing. It is overwhelming. Like SB says it is better for me to do 1 thing at a time. Loading and unloading the dishwasher is a good chore for me. It's all in one place.

I get so angry at the smallest things and then I forget about it afterwards but everyone else remembers and it affects them but I never realized that before.

I have no friends. I have 1 person other than my wife I text about 2 times a month. Everyone else is an acquaintance. I do not have the social skills I need. I start a job and I do really well for awhile but then I get bored of it and my performance suffers. 4 months seems to be a common breaking point of me leaving a job.

My whole life to this point has kind of just been passing me by.

I would frequently forget to give my daughter her medication.

But surely all that is just because I'm lazy and need to try harder, right Turi?

longneck, that is one of the biggest problem with this. From other peoples viewpoint that is how they see it. They don't have any concept of what you are feeling inside your head.
You mention several things that I have seen over and over again growing up with my sister. The one that frustrated me the most was how my sister would seem to almost forget the problem we had the day before, next day it was like it never happened...and she would do the same thing over like she had never been corrected about do it.

reminds me of the movie groundhog day. I think that is what angers people the most towards the affected. They don't want to put up with it. So they just walk away,
So it is hard to keep friends.

I hear the anger in your statements and anger in what you are going thru. As hard as it seems please try to channel that anger or you will never keep anyone close enough to help you, Instead try as hard as it is to do just what you did in your post...explain the best you can about what you are feeling and how things are effecting you. Only thru understanding can others look past the problems and stay around long enough to help.

Lack of good friends is hard enough for anyone, never mind one who is effected. Most times you become an outcast in the social world and an easy target for others to pick on and kick around only making things harder. We all know how hard others can be these day. Brutal

I have to run to work right now, but Longneck we are out here and we will listen to you.

LN, I am fighting right now with my daughter's school. She was an honors student all through elementary and even middle school. She made the honor roll 10 out of 12 times in middle school. She's now a junior in high school and has only made the honor roll twice. Currently, she's failing at least two subjects for this marking period. She is, however, a very talented artist and is making straight As in her three art classes.

Because she's always been very thin (last physical, she was 5'6" and 109 lbs., and that was wearing jeans, a shirt and a hoodie), and the usual meds suppress appetite, I resisted medication and tried to work with her behavior. Since high school, she's just gone downhill. I've finally caved in and put her under a doctor's care for medicating the problem. It's been a nightmare. The first few days, she got palpitations, the shakes and terrible stomach pains. We've reduced her dosage, and it's helped a little, but not enough. Last night, I made her favorite dinner. She cried because she was so hungry, but after a few bites, couldn't eat anymore.

Her teachers, as FS said, often see her as lazy and not doing her assignments. The truth is, she doesn't remember them half the time. Even when she does them, she loses them. We've tried folders, binders, notebooks with folders, anything you could think of that will help. It works for a while, and then it goes downhill.

In English class, she's given a reading assignment. She will read, and then she and I will review it and she recalls details perfectly. However, if the teacher gives a pop quiz the next day, she will often fail because she can't remember specifics. She will be given an in-class essay to write, but is unable to finish it before class ends. She's given the assignment to finish at home, but then can't find it. Teachers accuse her of laziness and think of her as a discipline issue.

LN, I think that Turi's point can be well-taken. Often, this problem is over-diagnosed and children who ARE behavioral problems are lumped in with children who have legitimate issues. Often, parents use it as an excuse because they don't have the inclination to discipline their children. Between single parents and dual-parent homes with both parents working, it is often the children that suffer and this is a way for parents to absolve themselves of some of the responsibility.

Unfortunately, it's making it worse for those that have the problem and it makes it hard for teachers, too. How much slack can you cut for kids with problems if 10 kids per class supposedly have the same problem????

Anyway, try some of the coping mechanisms we discussed. Investigate behavioral training. You have to be your own advocate, and I'm sure you'll manage to be successful.

In the meantime, I found this article to be one of the best I've ever read. Hope it helps.

http://adhd.emedtv.com/adhd/adhd.html

I do have a lot of anger. I've been frustrated lately because I have fallen back into old habits after working hard to change things.

I need to go to a psych and see about the behavioral training and whatnot but I don't have insurance anymore.




The adult section of this is pretty short.

http://www.additudemag.com/ seems like a good site with lots of info.

2nd edit: I have 10 tabs open from the site I posted. It's got a lot of good stuff. The actual magazine is way too expensive though.

Longneck - my post never had the intention of causing offense or controversy. I never wished to insult you and I apologise if my post has been taken that way.

With regards to not understanding the severity of your condition. Perhaps I don't - in fact I don't, I merely wished to point out that I share many of the symptoms you've stated - I no way intended to say I fully understood the condition or that I was a chronic sufferer of the symptoms. I stated some things I thought you may have related to.

I also stated some things which I genuinly believe are true. I've just done a quick search on Google and my points are backed up, diet and modern lifestyle are being touted as most probable causes - though there's also a decent argument to say ADD is on the increase because we're better at diagnosing it now.

I fear my final point was ambiguous and it has been misconstrued. Being lazy was far from the point I was trying to make by 'shying away from hard work'. I never said lazy and I don't think you or I are lazy. My point was there something on a subconscious level perhaps that made people not focus on things and find themselves doing something else, something more confortable and easier. After all we're not talking about Alzheimer's here. Perhaps that's what ADD is - I'm really not sure.

Longneck, you have a Wife and child you've got some great things in your life. I know you're frustrated with certain things in your life but it is nobody's fault. If my original post sounded a little 'off' then I apologise again - it was never my intention to insult you. I'm glad you're finding positives from being able to understand how you are so you can learn from them and find a way to improve you life.

Well, Turi, I shouldn't have snapped, I got the temper of Sonny Corleone sometimes (okay, always) and had an episode of forum rage.

What I have heard is that it is genetic. Maybe changing your diet helps but I don't think it can cause it. Alzheimers is more prevalent in people with ADD. People with ADD have a problem in their brain, like they are missing certain neurotransmitters or something like that.

I am on Adderall now, and man, the difference is huge. I feel so much better and I have been in a better mood, not to mention being able to focus on my family and my work as a stay at home father.

I started a blog after noticing that it is so much easier for me to type now. It really is helping in every facet of my life. I think I'm typing about 4,000 words a day. Mostly about nothing that would interest anyone that much, but I like being able to do it.

I also get bored with the computer easy, which is another good thing. So I'm gonna cut this short and go do something productive.

Glad to hear that things are looking up for you! It's wonderful news, LN.

My daughter was switched to Metadate (a form of Ritalin) and found it much better. She is starting to regain some of the weight she lost, and we've found that frequent but smaller meals are better for her. We've also learned to pack on calories wherever we can. Instead of toast with jelly, she gets cream cheese or Nutella on it. It's helped.

The best part is that her last progress report had no grade lower than a B+! She's feeling better about herself, and it thrills me to see her this way. We're slowly working on the other stuff.

I wish you continued success!