Why, Why, Why
do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are going dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That hurt, you stupid idiot?'

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes

And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness . Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you!!

Guilty

Why do men have nipples?

All good ones! I thought maybe I was the only one who did this:

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

And, I hate it when his happens. I especially hate it in the grocery store when you are in produce and trying to open the thin plastic bag. Sometimes it isn't clear which end to open.

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

TIS

It may be that males suckled babies at one time.

Or two at a time.

I've tried, but it doesn't work well.

I know what you mean.

On a similar note when you're bagging your groceries in the checkout line (if the store doesn't provide a bagger), if the plastic bag isn't already partially opened on the dispenser, forget about opening it yourself.

What about that real heavy plastic wrap some of the gourmet stores use to wrap sandwiches?

I bought one for my father a couple of weeks ago, then I came home at night to find it unopened. I said, Weren't you hungry? He says, I'm starving, but I couldn't get the fucking thing opened.