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"Anger Management" #455981
12/06/07 10:48 PM
12/06/07 10:48 PM
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 443
New Jersey
Obsessed With The GodFather Offline OP
Capo
Obsessed With The GodFather  Offline OP
Capo
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 443
New Jersey

Thought I would share this article with you!
I myself met a few people just like this today

Anger Management


When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying "Hello."I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f***ing number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude .

When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi,this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!" and hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking Spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had is number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"He said, "Yes, it is." I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?" He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax. It's a yellow ranch, and the car's parked right out in front."

I asked, "What's your name?" He said, "My name is Don Hansen," I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" He said, "I'm home every evening after five."

I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

He said, "Yes?"

I said, "Don, you're an asshole!"

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.

Then I came up with an idea. I called asshole #1. He said, "Hello." I said, "You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.) He asked, "Are you still there?" I said, "Yeah," He screamed, "Stop calling me," I said, "Make me," He asked, "Who are you?" I said, "My name is Don Hansen." He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?" I said, "Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, a yellow ranch, I have a black Beamer parked in front." He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers." I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole," and hung up.

Then I called Asshole #2. He said, "Hello?" I said, "Hello, asshole," He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..." I said, "You'll what?" He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass," I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax. I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better. Anger management really does work.


Johnny Cash & June Carter Cash Fan!
Re: "Anger Management" [Re: Obsessed With The GodFather] #455982
12/06/07 10:53 PM
12/06/07 10:53 PM
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 25,984
California
The Italian Stallionette Offline
The Italian Stallionette  Offline

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 25,984
California
Ha ha ha!!! Wow! What a great story. I probably couldn't go as far as getting the police involved, but having a couple assholes to call just to let off steam and vent to sounds great. I would call it therapy. \:D


TIS

Last edited by The Italian Stallionette; 12/06/07 10:54 PM.

"Mankind must put an end to war before war puts an end to mankind. War will exist until that distant day when the conscientious objector enjoys the same reputation and prestige that the warrior does today." JFK

"War is over, if you want it" - John Lennon

Re: "Anger Management" [Re: The Italian Stallionette] #455983
12/06/07 10:57 PM
12/06/07 10:57 PM
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 443
New Jersey
Obsessed With The GodFather Offline OP
Capo
Obsessed With The GodFather  Offline OP
Capo
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 443
New Jersey
....Yea, You Got That Right!


Johnny Cash & June Carter Cash Fan!
Re: "Anger Management" [Re: Obsessed With The GodFather] #455987
12/06/07 11:25 PM
12/06/07 11:25 PM
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 12,543
Gateshead, UK
Capo de La Cosa Nostra Offline
Capo de La Cosa Nostra  Offline

Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 12,543
Gateshead, UK
EDITED

Last edited by Capo de La Cosa Nostra; 12/07/07 02:03 PM. Reason: Just ridding my post of all sarcasm.

...dot com bold typeface rhetoric.
You go clickety click and get your head split.
'The hell you look like on a message board
Discussing whether or not the Brother is hardcore?
Re: "Anger Management" [Re: Capo de La Cosa Nostra] #456001
12/07/07 12:50 AM
12/07/07 12:50 AM
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,098
Existential Well
svsg Offline
Underboss
svsg  Offline
Underboss
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,098
Existential Well

Re: "Anger Management" [Re: svsg] #456094
12/07/07 01:19 PM
12/07/07 01:19 PM
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 14,900
Beth E Offline
Crabby
Beth E  Offline
Crabby

Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 14,900
I really wish I had the nerve to do something like this. I'd be too paranoid the person would find out where I live and come knocking on my door with a baseball bat.


How about a little less questions and a lot more shut the hell up - Brian Griffin

When there's a will...put me in it.
Re: "Anger Management" [Re: Beth E] #456102
12/07/07 01:23 PM
12/07/07 01:23 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 23,296
Throggs Neck
pizzaboy Offline
The Fuckin Doctor
pizzaboy  Offline
The Fuckin Doctor

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 23,296
Throggs Neck
Fucking priceless!!


"I got news for you. If it wasn't for the toilet, there would be no books." --- George Costanza.
Re: "Anger Management" [Re: Beth E] #456105
12/07/07 01:24 PM
12/07/07 01:24 PM
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 25,984
California
The Italian Stallionette Offline
The Italian Stallionette  Offline

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 25,984
California
Not that I've done anything quite like that but, I remember days of prank calling. \:p Not only as a kid, but I did a few pranks as an adult. One time (back in the 70's) we ordered pizzas and cabs to our pain in the ass complaining neighbors (long story). We had pizzas/cabs going to their door at about 15 minute intervals. Ha ha ha. With caller ID, I would never dare do anything like that today. It is kind of mean, but looking back, yea it was also kind of fun.

TIS


"Mankind must put an end to war before war puts an end to mankind. War will exist until that distant day when the conscientious objector enjoys the same reputation and prestige that the warrior does today." JFK

"War is over, if you want it" - John Lennon

Re: "Anger Management" [Re: The Italian Stallionette] #456107
12/07/07 01:27 PM
12/07/07 01:27 PM
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 14,900
Beth E Offline
Crabby
Beth E  Offline
Crabby

Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 14,900
I remember sending pizzas to neighbors. But it was never anyone who lived on my block. There'd be about 4 of us, and we'd pick a person to send a pizza to. Now with caller ID that's impossible. The pizza shop knows who you are before you give them an address.


How about a little less questions and a lot more shut the hell up - Brian Griffin

When there's a will...put me in it.
Re: "Anger Management" [Re: Beth E] #456114
12/07/07 01:59 PM
12/07/07 01:59 PM
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 11,468
With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
dontomasso Offline
Consigliere to the Stars
dontomasso  Offline
Consigliere to the Stars

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 11,468
With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
That "asshole" bit is hilarious.

When I was a kid (about 11) I wanted to get even with a friend's parents who wouldn't let me spend the night or some such thing...anyhow, my friend had a younger brother who was about 5 whose best friend was a kid named David Rose. One afternoon I called my friend's mother and disguised my voice a bit, introducing myself as David Rose's mother. I told her that I knew David and little Jimmy were friends, and that the following Saturday was David's birthday and they were having a party, and Jimmy was invited. She accepted the invitation, and on the following Saturday I rode my bike near the Rose house to watch. At the appointed time Jimmy and his mom pull up to the house. Jimmy was dressed in his party best, and they had a gift all wrapped up. A lady, presumably Mrs. Rose opened the dooor and the appropriate confusion ensued.


"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"

"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."

"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."

Re: "Anger Management" [Re: Obsessed With The GodFather] #456205
12/07/07 05:10 PM
12/07/07 05:10 PM
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 18,238
The Ravenite Social Club
Don Cardi Offline
Caporegime
Don Cardi  Offline
Caporegime

Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 18,238
The Ravenite Social Club




Excellent Stuff!




Don Cardi cool

Five - ten years from now, they're gonna wish there was American Cosa Nostra. Five - ten years from now, they're gonna miss John Gotti.




Re: "Anger Management" [Re: The Italian Stallionette] #456207
12/07/07 06:09 PM
12/07/07 06:09 PM
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 443
New Jersey
Obsessed With The GodFather Offline OP
Capo
Obsessed With The GodFather  Offline OP
Capo
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 443
New Jersey
TIS..I did that very same thing! loved ringing door bells then kneeling behind the wheels of a parked car to hide!...
Boy those sure were the day's


Johnny Cash & June Carter Cash Fan!
Re: "Anger Management" [Re: Obsessed With The GodFather] #456208
12/07/07 06:15 PM
12/07/07 06:15 PM
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,098
Existential Well
svsg Offline
Underboss
svsg  Offline
Underboss
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,098
Existential Well

Re: "Anger Management" [Re: svsg] #456212
12/07/07 07:24 PM
12/07/07 07:24 PM
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 12,543
Gateshead, UK
Capo de La Cosa Nostra Offline
Capo de La Cosa Nostra  Offline

Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 12,543
Gateshead, UK
 Originally Posted By: svsg
Agreed.


...dot com bold typeface rhetoric.
You go clickety click and get your head split.
'The hell you look like on a message board
Discussing whether or not the Brother is hardcore?
Re: "Anger Management" [Re: Capo de La Cosa Nostra] #456216
12/07/07 08:55 PM
12/07/07 08:55 PM
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,098
Existential Well
svsg Offline
Underboss
svsg  Offline
Underboss
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,098
Existential Well
 Originally Posted By: Capo de La Cosa Nostra
 Originally Posted By: svsg
Agreed.

Thanks ( plus )

Re: "Anger Management" [Re: svsg] #456218
12/07/07 09:10 PM
12/07/07 09:10 PM
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 44,945
DE NIRO Offline
DE NIRO  Offline

Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 44,945
 Originally Posted By: svsg
 Originally Posted By: Capo de La Cosa Nostra
 Originally Posted By: svsg
Agreed.

Thanks ( plus )


The Mafia Is Not Primarily An Organisation Of Murderers.
First And Foremost,The Mafia Is Made Up Of Thieves.
It Is Driven By Greed And Controlled By Fear.

Between The Law And The Mafia, The Law Is Not The Most To Be Feared

"What if the Mafia were not an organization but a widespread Sicilian attitude of hostility towards the law?"

"Make Love Not War" John Lennon
Re: "Anger Management" [Re: DE NIRO] #456231
12/07/07 09:58 PM
12/07/07 09:58 PM
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,098
Existential Well
svsg Offline
Underboss
svsg  Offline
Underboss
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,098
Existential Well
If only SC wouldn't ban me

Re: "Anger Management" [Re: DE NIRO] #456232
12/07/07 10:00 PM
12/07/07 10:00 PM
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 12,543
Gateshead, UK
Capo de La Cosa Nostra Offline
Capo de La Cosa Nostra  Offline

Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 12,543
Gateshead, UK
No problem svsg your tru gent, its my pleasure to have yu around.


...dot com bold typeface rhetoric.
You go clickety click and get your head split.
'The hell you look like on a message board
Discussing whether or not the Brother is hardcore?
Re: "Anger Management" [Re: DE NIRO] #456340
12/08/07 01:58 PM
12/08/07 01:58 PM
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,944
East Bay
Blibbleblabble Offline
Poo-tee-weet?
Blibbleblabble  Offline
Poo-tee-weet?

Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,944
East Bay
 Originally Posted By: DE NIRO
 Originally Posted By: svsg
 Originally Posted By: Capo de La Cosa Nostra
 Originally Posted By: svsg
Agreed.

Thanks ( plus )


"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." -Calvin and Hobbes
Re: "Anger Management" [Re: Blibbleblabble] #456357
12/08/07 03:14 PM
12/08/07 03:14 PM
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 12,543
Gateshead, UK
Capo de La Cosa Nostra Offline
Capo de La Cosa Nostra  Offline

Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 12,543
Gateshead, UK
 Originally Posted By: Blibbleblabble
 Originally Posted By: DE NIRO
 Originally Posted By: svsg
 Originally Posted By: Capo de La Cosa Nostra
 Originally Posted By: svsg
Agreed.

Thanks ( plus )


...dot com bold typeface rhetoric.
You go clickety click and get your head split.
'The hell you look like on a message board
Discussing whether or not the Brother is hardcore?
Re: "Anger Management" [Re: Capo de La Cosa Nostra] #456384
12/08/07 07:19 PM
12/08/07 07:19 PM
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,944
East Bay
Blibbleblabble Offline
Poo-tee-weet?
Blibbleblabble  Offline
Poo-tee-weet?

Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,944
East Bay
Am I the only one that will go so far as to say that story is GENIUS?! Well, it is!!!!11!!1!! I'm seeing a Nobel Prize in that author's future!!!11!!1


"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." -Calvin and Hobbes
Re: "Anger Management" [Re: Blibbleblabble] #456397
12/08/07 08:45 PM
12/08/07 08:45 PM
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 12,543
Gateshead, UK
Capo de La Cosa Nostra Offline
Capo de La Cosa Nostra  Offline

Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 12,543
Gateshead, UK
 Originally Posted By: Blibbleblabble
Am I the only one that will go so far as to say that story is GENIUS?! Well, it is!!!!11!!1!! I'm seeing a Nobel Prize in that author's future!!!11!!1


...dot com bold typeface rhetoric.
You go clickety click and get your head split.
'The hell you look like on a message board
Discussing whether or not the Brother is hardcore?
Re: "Anger Management" [Re: Capo de La Cosa Nostra] #456429
12/08/07 09:47 PM
12/08/07 09:47 PM
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,944
East Bay
Blibbleblabble Offline
Poo-tee-weet?
Blibbleblabble  Offline
Poo-tee-weet?

Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,944
East Bay
 Originally Posted By: Capo de La Cosa Nostra
 Originally Posted By: Blibbleblabble
Am I the only one that will go so far as to say that story is GENIUS?! Well, it is!!!!11!!1!! I'm seeing a Nobel Prize in that author's future!!!11!!1


"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." -Calvin and Hobbes
Re: "Anger Management" [Re: Blibbleblabble] #456430
12/08/07 09:49 PM
12/08/07 09:49 PM
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 12,543
Gateshead, UK
Capo de La Cosa Nostra Offline
Capo de La Cosa Nostra  Offline

Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 12,543
Gateshead, UK
 Originally Posted By: Blibbleblabble
 Originally Posted By: Capo de La Cosa Nostra
 Originally Posted By: Blibbleblabble
Am I the only one that will go so far as to say that story is GENIUS?! Well, it is!!!!11!!1!! I'm seeing a Nobel Prize in that author's future!!!11!!1


...dot com bold typeface rhetoric.
You go clickety click and get your head split.
'The hell you look like on a message board
Discussing whether or not the Brother is hardcore?

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