How do you handle difficult people? We've all experienced those uncomfortable situations.

My latest experience was just last week. I have just moved into a nice condo in a nice area (boy, I'm tired). Every owner is given a carport. The first day I moved in I walked to my car and find a nasty note asking me to "not park in my parking space, it's mine and I paid for it." I went in my house and checked all my paperwork and everything said I had that spot. I called the homeowners association and the escrow company and both agreed that "IS" my spot. I left a polite note on their car saying that all my paperwork and Homeowners association say it is my spot and asked them to please contact me (I left my name and unit #. Didn't hear from them.


The person who wrote the note, didn't sign a name and/or unit number, so I had no idea who wrote it. Their car remained parked in my spot for the next two days(I interpreted it as defiance). As soon as it was free, and knowing I was within my rights, I parked there, only to get yet another note on my window saying, "if you don't comply, I'll be forced to have you towed. Don't make me take this to the next level" This time he/she put a unit number on their note.

After verifying again that I was in my rights, I decided to go see this person/s. Keep in mind, I sort of worried because I had absolutey no idea who I'd be dealing with. I even thought of the possibility of my car getting keyed if I continued toparked there. I simply didn't know.

I finally went to see this person/s. It was a young couple. The man was halfway cordial, the woman seemed pissed. I kept my cool. I had my paperwork with me and told them that I surely didn't want to move in and be the bitch of the neighborhood or make waves. Instead of accusing them of anything, I asked them if they'd check their paperwork, because maybe we were both accidently assigned the same space. They did, and sure enough they were assigned the same space. The problem arose when their spot was changed and they were not looking at the correct papers. They too thought they were in their rights as well.

Anyway, I'm happy to say that I've had no more problems with carports. As much as I was going back and forth to my car unloading, it was a pain in the ass having to park in the guest parking, not to mention unloading groceries. I'm not as young as I use to be.

Thanks for letting me tell my story. It's been a drama for me for the last week!!!

How do you guys handle these situations?


TIS

You did just fine, TIS.

If I were you I'd probably get pig-headed and block their car in until they were forced to face me in person (instead of leaving a note). I never would've imagined the possibility of a paperwork mixup. That, undoubtedly would have created hard feelings, and thats something you don't need in a new apartment.

Congrats and good luck in the new place!! (I'm waiting for a PM with the new address).

I would have given their names to Clemenza.

TIS, you handled it perfectly. I used to live in a condo complex and I know from past experience that these parking situations can get a little nuts. You showed yourself to be a true lady, but one who wasn't going to be pushed around.

Good luck with your new place.

I would have left a puddle of warm, yellow urine instead of my car and in place of theirs. No I wouldn't have.

But you, I think, TIS, did just fine. If the paperwork adds up, and you were right to check it, then it's somebody who's probably pissed that their nice little find has been taken, and are wanting to muscle you out of the spot with blatant lies. The nerve of some people, eh?

Drop me a PM some time. Always nice to hear from you.

I really worry about these things, and didn't know if the door would open and someone would be ready to kick my ass or what. The guy answered and I didn't know quite how to phrase it, so I just said, "are you the guys in carport 92?" The guy was halfway cordial, but the woman immediately (and sarcastically says, "Let me see those papers". She looked and then not peep. I gave them the escrow people's number and they called immediately.

TIS

See, women are just too emotional. And you want one of them to be President? Madonne!

So you finally moved, TIS! Congratulations on the new place, first and foremost. Are you in Orange County now?

And about the incident, I think you handled it really well. What nerve for the other couple (I'm assuming it was the wife all along) to be so rude from the beginning! They're lucky they were dealing with someone as nice as you, because not everyone has that patience to politely figure out what happened.

You did the right thing, TIS. I would have been a bit worried as well...not knowing who I'm dealing with.

If they continue giving you a hard time...just tell them that you know a TON of people who's name is preceded by "Don."

I think that you handled the whole situation perfectly. Only next time something like this happens, you make sure to tell them that you are the GODMOTHER of the GangsterBB family!

So you finally moved, huh? That's why I haven't heard from you.

TIS, I wish you the best in your new home and I hope that you find much happiness there.

So do you have my room set up yet?


Good luck my lady!



Don Cardi

Thanks everyone! For me, this IS special not only because I am closer to my daughters, but it's a move I've been contemplating, and everything is brand new, and most of all I did it by myself (with CA home prices the way they are, I'm very lucky).

DC, my place is not big, but I would find room for you anytime you decide to venture out West. You're always welcome.

Zia, I am right on the border of OC. My place sets right by the Cleveland National Forest (if you know where that is). Anyway, off the 91 I'd be the Serface Club/Auto Center exit, just one exit before Green River (I'm off Green River actually), if you know where that is. I believe either Yorba Linda or Anaheim Hills is the next city over (both in OC). I'm still exploring finding my way around. I do plan to go to OC more though. I need to go to Claro Italian Deli to get my "Italian" fix.


TIS

You need to find a place that will make you those cute little blue drinks.



Don Cardi

So that's why you haven't been on the Boards much lately - I was afraid you had gone on strike! Congratulations on finally getting yourself moved!

It's interesting to compare the way situations are handled by men and women. While you were looking to discuss matters face to face, you were not looking for a "confrontation". You also had your paperwork with you, rather than a baseball bat. Many men, in the same situation, would have turned it into a case of (as Judge Milian says on The People's Court) "Quien es mas macho??" and an already uncomfortable situation would have gone rapidly downhill from there.

Now, I realize I am generalizing somewhat, but I think you get the picture.

I probably would have sent them a dead fish...

But, I've never been accused of being the brightest bulb in the circuit.

Signor V.

First of all, congrats for your move TIS. I wish you are going to be very happy in your new house! I know too well how stressing moves can be.....hope you settled down now!

As to the way you handled the uneasy situation, it is my opinion that you behaved like the lady you are: perfectly.

I don't know Cleveland National Forest... if someone asked me about it out of context, I probably would have said it's in Ohio. Very embarrassing... at least now I know it's in So Cal. You learn something new every day. But I do know where Yorba Linda is, as well as Anaheim Hills. A little past Fullerton, right?

What's the closest Claro's to you now?

Ask them for their union cards while your brother starts the car. Because you like to write the check on the dashboard.

TIS, you did exactly what was right and what was within your rights too. I'm glad it's been sorted.

Uneasy situations? How about your gran calling your missus by your ex's name?

Or being left in a room with a gazelle. There's always that awkward silence.

Mine does that with my aunt, her daughter.

Regarding the gazelle, it isn't so bad the second time round.

TIS, I had a similar experience a few years ago over a parking space. Turned out the other guy was technically in the right. However I asked him to swap spaces and offered him £500 for the priviledge. He refused.

The next day I went to see him again only this time with Luca Brasi. Within the hour he agreed to let me use his parking space in return for a certified cheque for £10........

You handled the situation with the same intelligence, tact and gentle resolve that you bless all of us with on these Boards with each of your posts, TIS. Take a bow!

Your situation (and other stories) point up the incessant friction that inheres in condos and co-ops. My favorite reading matter on Sundays when I'm in NJ is the NYTimes Real Estate section, which unfailingly has articles and Q&A that highlight simple conflicts among owners in condos and co-ops that escalate to ridiculous levels. My daughter lived in a condo in Miami in which the Association was trying to force owners to install storm shutters. Every morning during the four days that my wife and I were visiting with her, at least seven or eight notices (many crudely produced) were shoved under her door, denouncing one side or the other. The ultimate: one owner manifesto accused the condo association president of being "another Castro"---fightin' words in Miami. No wonder there are wars between people.

I hope they profusely appologized for not looking at the right paperwork and causing you some distress.