Ok, I know I've started over already, but this is my most thought out version of the story. Tell me what you think please!

1981:
Scene opens to an outdoor funeral procession. It is taking place in Sicily and is being attended by a fair amount of people. Vincent Corleone sits next to Anthony Corleone as a long line of people is making their way to the coffin to drop flowers at its feet and pay their respects to their departed friend. Women are crying and men are comforting them in Sicilian dialects. Behind Vincent and Anthony sits Al Neri and Connie Corleone. Now at the head of the line is Michael Corleone. He drops black roses and makes the sign of the cross on his chest. Though sunglasses conceal his eyes, you can see that Michael is looking very old and tired. He goes and takes his seat next to his son. As the ceremony continues, it is revealed that the funeral is to commemorate the death of Vincenzo Pentangeli. At the luncheon following the proceedings, Michael goes to Vincent and confesses to him that he will not be returning to America with them. Vincent protests, saying that he cannot make the Corleone as powerful without his backing. Michael says that Al Neri should be enough counsel. Vincent agrees, but persists to try and persuade his uncle to come back to New York. At this point, Michael begins to talk in a more violent tone. He says that the life waiting for him back in America is responsible for the life of his brothers, his daughter, his wives and his friends. He has no desire to return to something so evil. Not wanting to ruffle Michael’s feathers further, Vincent obliges to his uncle’s wishes. Michael confronts his son to stay with him and care for him as he reaches the twilight of his life in Sicily. Anthony says that he loves his father dearly, but he cannot bear the thought of living in a place where he witnessed his sister being murdered. Anthony tells him to ask Connie to stay with him, but Michael refuses. He says in the last years, his sister has become to entwined in the family business. According to Michael, Connie has grown to concerned with matters that don’t concern her, and if she stays with him in Sicily she will be unhappy. After spending another week in Sicily to make sure Michael’s move to Don Tommasino’s old compound goes off without problems, Vincent and crew return to America.

When Vincent, Connie, and Neri return to the New York estate, they are met with a welcome home part thrown by Vincent’s old friend from the Brooklyn enclave, Stefano (Stevie) Casso. When Vincent became the Don, he appoints Casso as his underboss, despite Michael’s reservations. Michael has heard of Casso’s violent streak in his old neighborhood, and he also knows of Vincent’s legendary temper he got from his father. He didn’t feel that two men with hot heads should lead the family. Also attending the party is BJ Harrison, who expected to talk to Michael upon his return. Vincent informs Harrison of the new arrangements, and that from now on, he will act as his own lawyer. Also expecting to speak to Michael is Ronald Milazzo. Milazzo is the Don of the Stracci family, and he wished to talk to Michael possibly talking him out of finalizing appointing the Don status to Vincent. In the past, Don Milazzo’s men have had run ins with Vincent’s crew. He worried that if Vincent were to become Don, he would blackball the Stracci family from doing business with him. He wanted Michael to make Neri is successor, as Milazzo knows he is a sound person. When Milazzo sees Vincent has already finalized his Don status, and that Michael stayed behind in Sicily, he begins to get worried. Vincent passes off Milazzo’s presence as being a last ditch effort to make amends. When the party ends, Vincent calls Neri, Connie, and Casso into the conference room. He says that the family needs to get its priorities straight, and it needs to get back into the right businesses. He tells them that they need to somehow gain back their control over the hotels and casinos in Atlantic City and Las Vegas. Connie tells him that her son, Victor Rizzi, has been living in Vegas is whole life. He was a manager for the Tropagalla hotel/casino before Michael sold it, and has since been looking to open a new casino, he just needs the financial backing. Vincent agrees that he will give Rizzi the money he needs to finish the casino, which the Corleone’s will have the sole income to. Before they move onto to more business, Al Neri says he has pressing matters to tell Vincent. He tells Vincent that Santino Corleone Jr. has been living in Philadelphia under the guise of Sammy Bruno. He changed his name so that his uncle would never find him out, he wanted to hide his underworld agenda so that his uncle wouldn't interfere. Now that Michael is staying in Sicily, he wants to come to the Corleone Family and gain the favor of his cousin. Neri says that Sonny Jr. has been gaining major strides, and Philly boss Marcantonio D'Elia is very impressed with his loyalty. Vincent agrees to take Santino in the new regime of the Corleones. Vincent says that now they must concentrate on more pressing matters, that being the drug operations. He says that despite Michael's reservations on the subject, it is necessary to get into the trade as quick as possible. He is sending men from his old crew in Brooklyn to take control over all narcotic dealings, and that he is already in negotiations to take control of the seaside dock unions. He knows that this will step on some of the other Don's toes, but that is what is needed now. To prevent unneeded bloodshed, he plans on calling a meeting with the other Dons of New York.

The Five Family Dons and their associates arrive at the Corleone estate on the request of Vincent Corleone. Present at the meeting are Don Ronald Milazzo from the Stracci family which has major control in Las Vegas now and has a working agreement with the Detroit Outfit. With him is underboss Joe LaBruzzo, a big burly man who has had a vendetta against Vincent from a scuffle in a restaurant that occured some years before. The Barzini family is Frank “The March Hare” Morello and his underboss Carmine Persico. He got his nickname for his erratic public behavior, as he was been known to drive up in a brand new Cadilac and cash a welfare check. Don Angelo Tarabassi was present with his underboss George Sallemne to represent the Tattaglia family. The Tattaglia family purchased the Tropagalla from the Corleone’s and initially kept Victor Rizzi as a general manager, but let him go with a broken knee after they heard him bad mouth Tarabassi’s son Paul, who had also made an appearance at the summit. The Cuneo family were represented by James Zerilli. The Cuneo family had a major influence in the drug trade in New York, and he was the only one who Vincent was afraid of insulting. Accompanying Vincent to the meeting were Al Neri, Stevie Casso, Santino Corleone Jr. who had arrived the previous day and was instructed not to speak, jus to sink in the feeling of a Five Family sit-down. Victor Rizzi also was there, but he has more freedom to talk, because he had issues with Don Tarabassi. Connie was told not to be present, partly for safety’s sake, and partly because Vincent didn’t want the other families to know she had as big a part in the business as she did. Vincent opened the meeting by asking Don Zerilli not take action against the drug cartels that he hopes to establish, as they are not intended to be an insult towards him, merely a tool to help the Corleone's regain their position as a powerful family. He assures him that as the Corleones become bigger and bigger, he will not let recent successes get to his head and attempt any acts of violence towards any of the families, and that includes the the Stracci family. He wants his underboss, Casso, to make peace with the upper echelon of the Straccis right now, as a sign of sincerity. Casso seems to be taken a little of guard by his Don's request, but goes along accordingly. Moving on, he requests that Victor and Paul make peace as well, which both oblige to. From there, Neri takes the floor and tells the rest of the Five Families that he will be taking a leave of absence to establish ties with the New Orleans Don, Roderigo Cicero. The Corleone’s have an understanding that Don Cicero has a successful drug trade in his territory and that he will allow the New York families to wet their beaks. All of the other Dons at the meeting are very pleased with these unfoldings, as it was not what was expected from usually brash Vincent Corleone. They all left happy, and Vincent seems to think that his plans will all go off without a hitch.

Victor Rizzi arrives at his new home in the mall, which is still being renovated, to fit his needs. He gets in and is wife, Kim Birchfield, is reading a magazine. Victor talks about how well the meeting went and that he thinks that big things are in store for him. All the while, it is evident he has been drinking heavily. Kim makes a sarcastic pass on how it was “great to be big in the crime business”. Victor takes offense to this and starts to slap his spouse around the house. She fights back and shoves the inebriated Rizzi into the shower. He rebounds and shoves her onto their bed. He takes out a gun from his drawer and points it towards her. She begins to scream for help, as her husband threatens to blow her brains out. The scuffle can be heard from outside their home, and it draws the attention of Santino Jr. Sonny bursts into the room with a gun of his own, believing that their is an intruder. He begins shooting before he enters the room and a bullet hits Victor in the shoulder. He goes down and clutches his wound in agony. From there, we switch to Victor Rizzi’s screaming body being pulled away in a gurney towards the hospital. Vincent is standing by its side with a crying Connie and Santino Jr. Neri walks up from behind Vincent and is explained to as to what happened. Vincent is visibly furious and calls his half brother into his office. In the office Vincent screams at Santino saying that what Kim and Victor were doing was just a normal marital spat, nothing he should have interjected himself into. Now one of his men is in the hospital. Santino explains the situation over and over again and, somehow, Vincent calms down. All of the sudden, Connie bursts into the room in tears and attacks Santino. She curses at him and pins him against the wall until finally Vincent restrains her. She says that as punishment she doesn’t want Sonny Jr. to be part of the family business anymore. Vincent says that he will wait until he here’s Victor’s side of the story before making any decisions. Connie though, is still hysterical. She screams at Vincent that if he doesn’t do something she will. Vincent forces her out of the room, but she manages to get these last words out;

“Your father died at the hands of his enemies, and Santino, you now are my enemy!”

I really like it. Especiall the part at the end with Connie. That's great stuff!

I asume it's not the complete thing? Otherwise it's a little short, but so far it's pretty good!!!!

The Vincenzo Pentangeli thing was quite original! keep it up

yeah, its not all of it, more will come in the follwoing days, thanks for the feedback!

really good i really like it i could picture everything please keep it up. I 'm eager to read the continuation of it.

ACT II: 1928-1931
We flashback to a year after Vito kills Don Ciccio. Genco has convinced him to go into the olive oil business with him, and Vito shows his modesty by not naming to company after himself. Instead he calls it Genco Pura Olive Oil Company. The company has a small fleet of six trucks. One day while Vito sits in his office, Clemenza walks in and tells him that there is a man by the name of Joe the Boss Masseria has contacted him and wants him to ask Vito for his help. With the initiation of prohibition, Masseria is looking to implement the GPOC trucks to transport liquor throughout New York and the rest of the country. Vito says he'll have to think about it, but asks Clemenza to set up a meeting with Joe the Boss. After Clemenza leaves, Vito calls to his house Hyman Rothstein, who has been working under the Clemenza regime for a few years now. Hyman has proved to be a financial wizard, and Vito asks him his opinion on how to handle Prohibition. Hyman says that with Masseria's connections, it would be wise to take him up on the offer, and Vito agrees.

Two weeks later, Vito and Masseria have the meeting to finalize the details. Vito agrees to let Joe use his trucks, and Joe assures Vito that he will receive a good cut of the profits. Vito asks him what to do with the other crime organizations, Masseria says that as long as he reaps in cash with the alcohol sales, screw the other gangs. He makes very disparaging remarks towards the Jewish gangs, like the Lakeview Road Gang, which includes Moe Greene and Johnny Ola, who have close ties with Rothstein. Vito takes into account those remarks. In the proceeding weeks, the smuggling ring that Masseria and Vito establish becomes a very lucrative business venture, and Vito starts to become a very rich man.

Soon after the agreement, Sal Maranzano arrives in America. Maranzano was a Ciccio associate, and had heard of Vito after he assassinated his partner in Sicily. Despite, this Maranzano bore no ill will toward Vito, as he knew the past double crossing that goes on his home country. He had left Italy after Benito Mussolini drove out most of the mafia. Maranzano makes it clear that he wants to take control of New York, but to do this he must vanquish the current king of the Volcano, Joe the Boss Masseria.

Vito learns of Maranzano’s arrival in America from Masseria, who during a meeting with Vito complains of a man who is trying to take the smuggling ring from him. Vito becomes curious and asks Tessio of this man. Sal confirms Masseria’s accusations, he tells Vito that Masseria has purchased a house in Brooklyn and is obviously making attempts to take control of the liquor distribution. Tessio also adds that he does things in a more orderly manner than Joe the Boss, and that perhaps Vito would be well advised to support Maranzano rather than Masseria. Vito takes this into consideration. He asks Tessio to set up a meeting with this new comer. At the meeting, which takes place at Maranzano’s home in Brooklyn, Vito voices his displeasure of Masseria’s tactics and failure to take advantage of partnering with the other crime organizations of the city. Maranzano agrees that partnership with other New York figures would be a very wise thing to do. On that day, Vito tells Maranzano that he will take care of the Masseria problem.

Joe the Boss finds out of Vito’s meeting with his rival and confronts the Don about it. Vito assures him that it was only a meeting to lure Maranzano into a false sense of security. For a long time now, a shooting war had broke out and the newspapers and press had dubbed it the Castellammarese War. Fifty murders are believed attributed to the war, but it could be more, since the police were not always able to determine if a dead body was a result of the war, or if it was could be attributed to some other organized crime faction of the time. Vito tells Masseria that Tessio would meet him at Nuova Villa Conastazia, Masseria’s favorite restaurant to further discuss how to deal with Maranzano. At the meeting, Tessio and Masseria are having a grand time when Tessio excuses himself to go to the bathroom. As soon as he enters the men’s room five men run into the store and unload on Masseria, killing him. The men were Frank Pentangeli, Hyman Rothstien, Louis Bocchicchio, Anthony Stracci, and Johnny Ola. A few days earlier, Vito had called Pentangeli to round up some men to make their bones on Joe the Boss’s life. Pentangeli comes up with Stracci and Bocchicchio, and Vito assigns Ola and Rothstein to the group, despite Frankie’s negative disposition on them. Afterwards, the press recognizes the hit and published the newspaper with the headline reading “The Five Angels of Death End Joe the Boss”. This results in Pentangeli’s freinds referring to him as Frankie Five Angels.

I like your adaptation of the Castellamarese Wars, very good! You make Vito Corleone be like Lucky Luciano, which I think is a great idea.

But one nitpicky thing...since it's a GF4 story, therefore a sequel to the other movies, you should take into accoutn that the character of Sal Maranzano already was in the second Godfather movie (Tessio mentions him), yet named "Maranzala". I've changed the name in my outline because of this fact.

This is good stuff Zasa. One small quibble. Is Frankie's nickname not more likely to have come from "Pent = Five" - "Angeli = Angels"

that's great!!! very cleaver

Damn you and your use of "grammar"! Actuaually, damn me for my lack there of.