So I’ve actually managed to watch a couple of movies in the theater this week and see a movie that I’ve been wanting to watch for some time now so I thought that I would commemorate the occasion by spewing forth strings of words in a somewhat sentence like fashion. I’ll go in chronological order starting with…

Firewall, now I believe that this movie is being marketed as a thriller where Harrison Ford plays a network security designer for a bank and Paul Bettany is a mastermind thief. There are so many problems in this movies it is really just poor in every aspect. The story is…well I mean it is a simple concept establish a good guy introduce slick bad guy who seems to have an angle for everything and is as ruthless as he is intelligent. Good triumphs over evil, made more impressive by the caliber of bad guy and there is your movie. Yet they managed to fuck that up. Every aspect of above mention formula is followed just with the precision of one-handed surgeon performing an appendectomy with a pair of safety scissors. Ford’s character never really feels concrete where as Bettany’s never really feels all that calculated, don’t get me wrong it is never a question that Bettany is playing the main bad guy but he seems to be at times haphazard it keeps his character from attaining any footing in the upper echelon of movie bad guys or really middle men as far as I’m concerned. I like his (Paul’s) portrayal-his voice, cadence, and look but the character was just poorly written. On the other hand watching Harrison Ford’s “performance” in this movie is a little like being raped by your best friend’s father. You don’t really want to turn him in, but that old man just fucked you. Basically the best performances in this movie are from a couple of the people in Bettany’s crew two of which actually manage to generate a feeling of malice and the other the only character that I can say honestly made any emotional attachment to the audience. (well the little boy too, but that doesn’t count)

I don’t really have a counterpoint type argument the only reason that this movie gets any points is because I really like any movie that has theft in it, I don’t know why I just like to watch shit get stolen. Right after the movie I would have given it a grade of a C-, because of my love of theft and Paul Bettany now I fail to see a reason to even give it a D- plus I seem to have grown oddly cynical and jaded in the last few weeks so I give you Firewall F+