You know, I want to really understand what the hell is going on. People I trust yabber about the greatness of Peter Jackson's new movie, yet after seeing it last week, the only question that I keep asking is this:
Did I see another movie? Did PJ deliver me a bad mediocre blockbuster action movie just to piss me off, or is many folks still on the sauce with the holidays and all? This is isn't the pure entertainment that I've heard many quite tag this picture with, nor is it "moving" in any form of beastiality that people keep saying.
Fact is, this isn't FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING or TWO TOWERS. No, this is RETURN OF THE KING. What that means is that despite quite an expensive budget and more CGI shots for techno-nerds to wank off on than your usual picture...you don't give a fuck about it. In fact, the only sure stunning sequence of any worthy that took my breath away was the finale, with the massive New York City under the brief rule of one giant monkey.
There is no organic naturality in either the narrative nor the tale. Fact is for one thing, its a bad sign when the lead and some fire scared-retarded have a believable if not overly built-up relationship in Romero's LAND OF THE DEAD. Its not THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION, but I buy that dual partnership. However, Jackson and his women should have gone back to square with the screenplay in that whole subplot about the young fucking sailor and his unlikely-in-1930s-America black friend.
In fact, that is the best example of why this movie fails. Jackson wants us to expect these two as friends and we are supposed to feel bad when one becomes bug lunch, but me and my filmfan comrades, we didn't feel any care for it, nor the unfortunately emotional-manipulated character role for Jack Black, or better yet the abortive love story between the talented Adrien Brody and Ms. Watts. All good actors stuck with crap material to work with.
I expect a few, specifically ONE person in general that I know of, to call me an elitist prick or/and a grouch that needs a damn nap. You know what? I don't care. Go ahead and believe in the fantasy that this is actually a really "good" movie. While you're at it, go ahead and believe such things as the Trilateral Commission, the Philadephia Experiment, Roswell, Big Foot, and other fun "serious" conspiracies.
Fact is, I watched Jackson's THE FRIGHTENERS over the holiday break, a nice movie that I always dug. I mean, a pleasing sort-of creative monster/ghost comedy/thriller picture where a pre-Milk Shaker Michael J. Fox and his ghost spirit pals have to fight the Grim Reaper. Jeffrey Combs delivers quite stunning work as the fucked-up David Lynch-like joke character of the FBI Agent, and hell you see a ghost hump a mummy. Fact is, I missed it when Jackson had fun with his films, and he shared it with the rest of us.
