It's a little disturbing how you describe all of this.
Using the word "love" when describing how these people dress and going on to talk about the horrific death and destruction these people cause.

That said, there's maybe something to your point. Looking at it from the Chicano gang world,
I noticed way early on that the way a person looks or dresses is deceiving.
You'd be surprised how many US gang bangers don't dress the way you think. Especially nowadays but even in the past there's always those ones that go all out with the gangster dress code, trying to look mean and tough. Some have all these tattoos and all that.
I noticed a lot of these guys did it to get the girls, number one and the second reason because it scared a lot of people away. A way to scare away potential "challengers". It works for the most part until you come across that real gangster that doesn't a give a shit about your look and then you're fucked. But that's that lifestyle, it's a gamble.
But I've personally known plenty of gang members that didn't dress the part at all but were the real deal, dangerous as fuck.
So yeah looks are deceiving.

But also look at what you're comparing. Apples and oranges.
Again from a Chicano gang world, remember what these guys were supposed to be from the beginning.
HOMEBOYS. From the neighborhood, growing up together, knowing each other's families, going to school together, playing baseball together. Having in each other's backs, picking up on girls, trying to get into fun in the neighborhood. Then they join the local gang and yeah things get serious with beefs with rivals and some end up dead, some prison for life and others retire by their early 20s and do the family thing.
The vast majority of them never planned on being career criminals, or serial murderers. The bulk of the violence committed by kids, teenagers and young adults between 15 and 21 years old.
That shit the cartels are doing is foreign to the average "homeboy" and I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. What's happening with the cartels isn't anything to be proud of. Not that US gangs are positive either but cmon. You sound like you're boasting about these cartels. Why??