I remember when I was 4 or 5 I decided to try and parachute off the kitchen chair into the living room and of course my sheet I used for a parachute didn't slow me down and my forehead hit the corner of our solid as hell coffee table. All my Father did was tell me to quit crying because I was so stupid and to either shut up or get my ass whooped Had a goose egg the size of a golf ball sticking out of my forehead.

That was the end of my paratrooper days too