There ARE gays in the military. My daughter works for the Army and they have been instructed on how to handle and address gay couples. I don't think I've ever seen any though.
Back when I lived in NY there was a small town where a man came home and told his family that he was now "Peggy". His son, a star HS football player committed suicide. I ran into him in a grocery store one time and couldn't stop laughing. (Yes I was immature) He had on high heels and nylons and a dress and cute little purse, and stood about 6'5" with huge hands. Down here, up in Raleigh NC there is a militaria collector show several times a year. One of the dealers decided a couple years ago that he was now a female. Now he shows up in a dress, heels makeup and wigs but still sits there selling helmets, bayonets and other assorted militaria.