I know a guy who can help you out. His name is Tony. I'm pretty sure he lives in either the Bronx or Brooklyn. He's Italian,so he should be easy to find,since there can't be more than one or two Italians named Tony in those Boroughs.

He will need some collateral,so you can put up the Magic Beans you got for the cow,or the Magic Mushrooms that you've been nibbling.