xdcs, im new to this site, only been on a little over a month, I know where youre coming from. my brother died in 2008, I looked after him for years, was a diabetic for 50 years, even when youre prepared for it it hurts bad, what got me through it was my strong believe in the after life. there is no death only a change of worlds. we are just passing through this life, the real one is to come. you will see him again.