Nicky,

I agree they are often two people, biological family life and LCN life. In 2008 I had an opportunity to treat a retired made guy in his 70's at our treatment center in Florida whose alcoholism really took off after he retired. For obvious reasons I cannot say who this was but this guy had a huge amount of guilt and shame over the life he had led, shed real tears on more than one occasion. I asked him why he chose that life and he said it was because he didn't know there was any other way to live, not sure I believed that but guess it is possible. We treat the family as well as the patient so I did 1 session with him, his Wife and 3 adult children and 1 session with just the Wife and three kids. The family members were fully aware of what he did for a living, though probably not in great detail. In spite of this they loved this man very much and were very loyal to him. I asked the family the standard questions, one of which was there any abuse in the home, and they all reported he was a very kind and loving Father and Husband. At no time did I get the feeling they were afraid of him. Anyway when the 6 of us sat down together they gave this guy a good tongue lashing about how he made them worry about him everyday for about 40 years. There was a moment when they were speaking to him that he had a look on his face that reminded me of an innocent six year old who just got caught eating Oreos before dinner. There is definitely two sides to this guy.