Wrong again, Counselor. I'm actually Client Number 9. But I used to be a porn star. I went by the name Buck Naked. My specialty was rubbing my bald head in oil and rubbing it all over Amazonian women's bodies. My wife made me quit. Spoiled sport that she is.
So when are you running for office?
Don't laugh, with that pedigree I'd be as legit as Weiner, Spitzer and Lopez. Thank God common sense prevailed there. And that Vito Lopez might just be the biggest degenerate of the three of them, but he didn't get nearly as much press. Lowlifes, all of them.