By the way, any man over the age of, say, 23 who is renting a single room for $950 a month in a four bedroom apartment "with three other dudes" that he met on Craigslist just so he can be able to claim that he lives in Brooklyn is a retard.
And if you're over 23 living in that situation AND you own a fucking skateboard, do us all a favor and just kill yourself right now. You are not going to contribute anything to society, ever, so please, just jump.
Hey Pizzaboy! Remember that fellow I mentioned who moved to Bed-Stuy from here to pursue his dreams or whatever, and now acts like he's a native New Yorker? Lately he's started bitching about "the yuppie assholes from Manhattan who are moving into Brookyln". Seriously!
EXACTLY the kind of douchebag I'm always bitching about, Ivan.
Quick story: Last year around Christmas week I'm in a pub on MacDougal Street with both of my daughters. I had real estate business in the neighborhood, blah blah blah, and the kids wanted to meet me in the Village for a drink before they headed out for the night. So we're sitting there and there are these two nice girls from Jersey City who strike up a conversation with my kids. About a half hour later, two guys about their age, originally from Dayton (sorry, it could just have easily been Wisconsin, but it was really Dayton), start busting the chops of these two nice girls for living in Jersey City "like farmers." In Jersey fucking City, five minutes from the Holland Tunnel, all their lives, and these two assholes from Dayton fucking Ohio are calling
them farmers?
Now I'm 53 years old, but I guess I had on my Scorsese face that night. Because I just sneered at these kids and said, You think
they're farmers? I think you should apologize. They did, bought us all a drink, and got the fuck out of there
.
