When I quit smoking I quit cold-turkey from 2-1/2 packs a day (this is chain-smoking almost constantly)... that was 22 years ago.

A girlfriend and I were lying outside under an enormous pine tree on a mild fall night (about midnight actually) ... we had just, uh ... well ... uh, (ahem) smoked all my cigarettes ... then smoked all hers. We got onto the conversation of how long we'd been each smoking ... I had for almost 9 years, she for almost 8. So, right there we agreed to both quit together on the spot.
She went back to smoking about 4 months later ... I never smoked cigarettes again.

I must say, one thing that really helped me was that I was weight-lifting, and later running for exercise about that time. The exercise was something that I'd been doing independently of any plans to quit smoking.

For me, exercise was the most important componant to getting past that first few weeks or so where the withdrawl symptoms are at their worst.

I think there are three stages that have to be treated individually.

The first is the withdrawl period.

The second is a period lasting several months or more where your body has neither the nicotine to satiate receptors in the brain, nor has it completely re-started generating it's own endorphins in normal quantities either. This period is particularly helped by the artificial inducement of exercise to get your biochemistry back to normal.

The third is the psychological residue of being triggered etc.. that can last for varied lengths of time. This is the stuff that's treatable by behavior modification ... removing the chair from in front of the telephone if you smoke on the phone (forces you to stand and cut short conversations) ... removing ashtrays ... substituting other behaviors for smoking behavior etc..

By the way ... I think relying on the 'gradual' method of using nicotine gum and patches etc is *completely* the wrong approach ... as is "cutting back" to a couple smokes a week. Though these two artifices may help to make the quitting "ledge" you are about to jump off a bit lower ... IF that is you actually jump!
Sooooo many people I know simply substitute the patch or gum for some cigarettes ... then go right back to their regular smoking habits. The patch and gum for them were nothing more than a "different cigarette".

If you are going to *quit* ... in the literal sense of the word ... then you are quitting ... cold turkey. If not ... then you are not "quitting".

For those who have smoked so long that they have significant, relatively permanent changes to their brain chemistry which make "typical" successful quitting strategies not an option; I believe the answer is to use the same sort of detox treatment that are used to treat other substances. This means inpatient or outpatient ... and follow-up group support participation untill you are comfortable with going it on your own.

I have a friend in this position. He has smoked since we both started about 30 years ago ... he is *horribly* desperate to stop and has tried everything. He is angry and disillusioned ... this was my advice to him. He is still considering it.

Insurance plans may cover such treatment. I noted to him that this does not hold the same stigma that getting treatment for heroin (for instance) carries ... he will look like a hero to his employer and anyone who knows, as having taken control and successfully quit.

I should say, I do smoke a cigar about one every second or third month (yup, usually at a nice bar). I started "collecting" cigars about 6 years ago and at first smoked about 5 a week (not inhaling). Stopped that after about 4 months and dropped off to my current level. I never went thru any 'withdrawl' or difficulty in doing so.
Now, often 3 or 4 months go by without my having a cigar ... it really depends on whether I go out to a nice place to smoke one.