I had a dog once.
It chased a bee across the street and was hit by this locally-famous bloke who carves bears out of trees.
Its legs fell off. Had to send it back to the factory for re-assembly.
Long story short, I can get a free wooden bear whenever I want.
"Somebody told me when the bomb hits, everybody in a two mile radius will be instantly sublimated, but if you lay face down on the ground for some time, avoiding the residual ripples of heat, you might survive, permanently fucked up and twisted like you're always underwater refracted. But if you do go gas, there's nothing you can do if the air that was once you is mingled and mashed with the kicked up molecules of the enemy's former body. Big-kid-tested, motherf--ker approved."
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