I'm completely shocked and dumbfounded by the tragedy that has unfolded in Newtown, CT. I seriously hope that the man who did this was mentally unhinged and not in control of his mental faculties, because I can't wrap my brain around someone who is in their right mind committing such a heinous, horrifying crime. My heart goes out to the families and friends of the departed. 20 sets of parents are now gonna have to spend Christmas without their children. That devastates me.

I don't know how accurate these statistics are, but they can't be too far off the mark:


"Growing up my dad was like 'You have a great last name, Galifianakis. Galifianakis...begins with a gal...and ends with a kiss...' I'm like that's great dad, can we get it changed to 'Galifianafuck' please?" -- Zach Galifianakis