[A lousy investment leads fiscally conservative Fritzy and associate Harry Dickran to conclude that their money is better served in more legitimate rackets than the stock market. Also, Harry talks about having to can an ungrateful brother-in-law whom he pity-hired at his wife's urging.]
Fritzy: How'd the stocks do?
Harry: About the same. Ya know, there, there's no big, radical movement.
Fritzy: No, huh?
Harry: Nah.
Fritzy: I thought there was some big, major change.
Harry: I thought so, too, with those two articles...
Fritzy: Yeah, right.
Harry: I figured that at least those two would, like, start...
Fritzy: Well, ya know, lemme tell ya about these, they lay and wait, they don't jump on it right away. They wait. The money guys go out and investigate it. They wait, they look, they say, "You know what? It's true. Okay, let's start." Ya know?
Harry: But these articles should've helped. Those articles were good articles.
Fritzy: When did your stock first drop?
Harry: When?
Fritzy: Yeah, the very first time?
Harry: Oh, the day, I guess, the first day that they got all...
Fritzy: What was that in May? When the hell did they get hit?
Harry: Yeah, yeah about May, ya know, May 10th.
Fritzy: Alright, listen to me. You guys have to look to sell out around May 10th or before. Way before, maybe April.
Harry: Oh, yeah.
Fritzy: Ya know why?
Harry: If we knew.
Fritzy: No, 'cause they'll boost, no, I'm talkin' about this comin' up. They'll boost it now, boost it, and around, you'll be told, "Keep it, hold it, hold it..."
Harry: Nah, no more.
Fritzy: "...Keep it." Listen to me. April, we'll make a D-Day, we all go in...
Harry: You know what I did? You know what I had our accountant do?
Fritzy: Wha?
Harry: I had our accountant take a, take a, list of all the stocks, on all, everybody. Pensions, personal...
Fritzy: Yeah.
Harry: ...the whole thing. "What was the average price that we bought at?" 'Cause, ya know, some we bought at three...
Fritzy: Yeah.
Harry: ... some we bought at nine.
Fritzy: Yeah.
Harry: Ya know, so we averaged it out, uh, "You bought it at six."
Fritzy: Yeah.
Harry: So I told him, "Now, the minute this goes, like six and a half, seven. Out."
Fritzy: Yeah.
Harry: Ya know, and then the next start. Soon as it comes to that, "Out."
Fritzy: Yeah.
Harry: Until we get our money back and that's it.
Fritzy: Yeah.
Harry: Then, f*** it, we're out of it.
Fritzy: That's right.
Harry: And, uh, there's the last time you see me do that.
Fritzy: What a f***ing joke.
Harry: Then I put it into the bank, ya know, I get a nice eight percent, eight and a half percent.
Fritzy: That's right.
Harry: Guaranteed. I sleep.
Fritzy: That's right.
Harry: F*** this.
Fritzy: I had it layin' there. Nice. I had it layin' there. I go take it out, I go put it over here. I can't believe what the f*** I done.
Harry: You know something? My, my living, my living, like your living and...
Fritzy: Right.
Harry: ...everything else is my trade.
Fritzy: Yeah.
Harry: I make money in printing.
Fritzy: That's right.
Harry: I'm not supposed to make money on money, ya know that's, that's not my business.
Fritzy: Ya know, see what you said? That's where they fool everybody.
Harry: Sure.
Fritzy: That's where they fool everybody.
Harry: What the f*** do they know? Hey, ya, they tell me, "You can double your money." I can make a million dollars if I...
Fritzy: A f***ing bum, a bum. Let's, let's put it this way: A bum makin' 30,000 a year is gonna tell you how to invest, how to make...
Harry: Isn't that...
Fritzy: ...a million dollars. Get the hell out of here. Go away.
Harry: And, and...
Fritzy: I could see a guy makin' a coupla million a year tryin' to help me out to make a 100,000 a year.
Harry: But, you know Fritzy, the funny thing, ya know, ya know what the funny thing is? This fuckin' guy was like the expert, the this, he handled the money. F***ing thing goes downhill, right? Man can't get a fuckin' job.
Fritzy: He ain't workin'?
Harry: Well, they had to get it for him.
Fritzy: They hadda get him a job.
Harry: You know, that was me, I would, I, fuck him, I'd give 'em s***. Hey, ya know, ya, ya, ya know how I am in something like this? Ya know, I hired my brother-in-law here three years ago.
Fritzy: Yeah.
Harry: My wife's brother. Guy was old, 60 years old.
Fritzy: Right, right.
Harry: His trade is washed up. His business is out. He always made five, six hundred a week...
Fritzy: Yeah.
Harry: ...and now he makes nothing.
Fritzy: Yeah.
Harry: So, ya know, ya know, what am I going to do, kill this guy?
Fritzy: Nah. So you put 'em somewhere, keep 'em alive. Right.
Harry: I bring him in for 500 a week and he knows nothing.
Fritzy: Yeah.
Harry: Right? And then he, and he starts comin' in with, "Alright, I don't work overtime. I don't work when it snows."
Fritzy: You're kiddin'?
Harry: "I don't work when it rains." I say, "What the f***?" Now I didn't know about this, They were hiding it from me inside because they didn't want to upset me.
Fritzy: Yeah, huh?
Harry: Yeah. Alright. So, ya know, this went on and on and finally, one day, I said, "You know somethin'?" Ya know, I went back there and they said, "Well, this guy hadda do this because there's noboby in there to make plates." And I says, "Where's John?" That's my brother-in-law. "Oh," he says, "Well he goes home at five. He doesn't work overtime." I says, "Whattya talkin' about?" I says, "We're, we're in a fuckin' spot. You tell him you gotta stay." No, he won't stay. So I bring him in and he says, "Oh, yeah," he says, "those are the conditions you hired me under."
Fritzy: liar.
Harry: I says, "What the f*** are you talkin' about?" I says, I says, "You know, John," I says, "Ya know, you aren't workin', ya know..."
Fritzy: Yeah.
Harry: I says, "My, my wife, your sister, put pressure on me to hire you."
Fritzy: Put pressure on me.
Harry: Oh, Jesus Christ, we had some, we had some argument with that.
Fritzy: Eh.
Harry: "I bring you in here," I says, "I give you $500 a week to train you and then we're gonna give you a raise."
Fritzy: You better watch how you talk about your partner.
Harry: Wha, whattya mean?
Fritzy: What, what you just says, who put pressure on you. You better watch, who put, who, who ya talkin', ya know, he get rid of you and, uh, do the hirin' and firin' over there.
Harry: Oh, I wish he would do it.
Fritzy: He still with ya?
Harry: Hey, you know what I did?
Fritzy: What?
Harry: After he told me, "Nah," he says, "you agreed to that." I says, "John," I said, "I agreed to shit." I said, "If you ever, if you ever gave me those conditions," I said, "you, you never would have been here." So then, you know, he started to get, like, a little out of line. I said, "Hey, John," I says, "look, because you're family," I says, "you either change your ways..."
Fritzy: Yeah.
Harry: "...and you still got a job here."
Fritzy: Yeah, otherwise...
Harry: "If you don't change your ways, Friday's your last day."
Fritzy: That's all.
Harry: He wouldn't change his way.
Fritzy: You got rid of 'em?
Harry: How'd ya like? Yeah.
Fritzy: Sure.
Harry: F*** him. Whattya kiddin' me? I don't take that kind of shit.
Fritzy: In other words, his attitude was, "Ehh."
Harry: F*** him, I hope he's pumpin' gas somewhere, the coc*suck**.
Fritzy: Eh.
Harry: You know what I mean.
Fritzy: I know, I know, they don't, they don't understand.
Harry: He don't do this, he don't do that. Why, why don't you stay home, I'll mail you the check. What the f*** you...
Fritzy: They don't understand, they don't understand. Well, anyhow.
Harry: One of those things.
Fritzy: Alright.
