I just need to vent.

Today at work. I've just prepared a cup of tea for myself, when the door opened and in he came - the man for whom I felt a sort of infatuation for several months. Well, how ever things stand between us, we have to work together, even if love is gone.
I was perfectly unprepared to see him this time - and it caught me off guard it seems, which pisses me endlessly. I tried to behave as naturally as possible, and consequently poured some fresh boiled tea directly on my leg.
Damn.
Of course, I didn't let anybody notice it. He stuck around a bit and said he'd better go, because he doesn't want to spoil my appetite.
Shit.
It all looked so stupid, as anything can ever look stupid in this world. I just didn't find what to say.
Pshaw.
I must admit that my appetite was spoilt for the whole following day.