I woke up at 5 this morning, because I felt something on my face. Still being about 90% asleep, I instinctively slapped myself in the face. Well, that was my intention. I ended up smacking myself in the ear, and busted my eardrum. It hurt like hell, but at least I didn't hear any customers bitching at me today at work.
"Growing up my dad was like 'You have a great last name, Galifianakis. Galifianakis...begins with a gal...and ends with a kiss...' I'm like that's great dad, can we get it changed to 'Galifianafuck' please?" -- Zach Galifianakis
