What was the deal with Chalky and his surly attitude at dinner?
A lot of pent up anger coming out. I think it is mostly frustration at not being able to avenge his four workers' death at the booze warehouse. He's losing face in the community and he was told (by Nucky) to "be patient".
Also, it doesn't help that his own family seems to make fun of his lack of education. Chalky has NOT forgotten from whence he came but his family apparently have (forgotten).
It's (IMO) one of the better story lines.
You have put it
perfectly SC!!!

Chalky's had a near death experience, may face charges for the killing of a white man, is spoken to dismissively by Nucky (
be a patient boy), and is under threat of losing his business and political power in the black community. He THEN comes home to find his wife has invited over a suitor for his daughter without checking with him first and has refused to make the one dish he asked for because it's too "country".
Under the circumstances that might make the most patient husband speak a sharp word or two.
It's like "I may have to eat s*** outside this house but in
this house I'm the boss!!"