DC,
Your post reminds me of when I was working (middle school)and the couple occasions where the "N" word was used between African American kids (not in a mean manner, they were friends). Of course the school would NOT tolerate that word as you might imagine, but these kids likely didn't know the full impact of the meaning of that word either I suppose??? I don't know, but it seems surely their parents must have discussed it at some point in their lives, no?
TIS