I have been slapped, punched, kicked and crushed. I have fallen from roofs. I have hit myself with a hammer several times. I have been hit in the head with flying objects and stiff pieces of steel. I have dumped various all-terrain vehicles. I have broken bones. I have been stabbed and unintentionally sliced. I have bull-branded myself. I have been injured over and over and over again.

So why is it that stubbing my toe and snapping the nail caused the single greatest pain in recent memory? It was really just a case of walking along, like any other walk, and something (a doorway) gets in the way. Nothing very noteworthy.

I stepped back from the injury and clenched my teeth. It hurt so bad. But I was trying to rationalize the pain. In my mind, I cited the examples above. "Oh, c'mon, Dean, this is nothing...remember?...you slipped off that ladder onto your face?" It didn't help. I immediately thought about what a baby I was being and tried to forget about it. That didn't help either. "OK...I'm a baby. Please, God. My dear, dear Lord."

I sat down on the couch and attempted to ignore the throbbing. It was a diligent effort. Eventually, the sharp pain subsided a bit and turned into a dull, massively hot sensation. "Ahhhh sheeeeeeeet...this ain't so bad."

Then I saw the blood soaked into my sock. Panic.

Then I went to sleep.

Then I awoke.

And now, if I touch the wound, or think about it, I get upset at my feet.

I mean, what purpose does that little toe, in particular, serve? No. Never mind that. Why do we need toes at all? The bastards.