A: George to the woman in the diner when he decided to do the opposite of everything his instincts had been telling him.

Q: "If you would have told me 20 years ago that someday I would be standing here about to solve the world's energy problems, I would've said 'you're crazy.'"

George to a woman in the coffee shop.

She's bald!

George to Jerry

"I'm never gonna have a child. If I lose this Frogger high score, that's it for me."

A: George to Jerry

From one of the best episodes of the series:
Q: "And I begin to perceive this impending...intestinal requirement, whose needs are going to surpass by great lengths anything in the sexual realm. So I know I'm gonna have to stop. And as this is happening I'm thinking, even if I can somehow manage to momentarily extricate myself from the proceedings and relieve this unstoppable force, I know that that bathroom is not gonna provide me with the privacy that I know I'm going to need."

George to Jerry (the Chinese restaurant)

"You got long balls, Larry." Oops, wrong show.

"Ya know, its not fair people are seated First Come First Served, It should be based on who's hungriest."

A: Elaine to Jerry in the Chinese restaurant

Q: "I say 'Cartwright,' nobody comes so I say 'you no here.' She say curse word, I hang up."

A: The Chinese man in charge of seating people at the restaurant to George.

Q: George you're obviously lying!

A: Mr. Wilhelm to George

Q: "When he took out that needle, I let the expletives fly!"

I think this is right, but didn't Peterman say this when the man was trapped in the ATM booth while the building was on fire?

Kramer to Jerry

"You a dentist?"

You're right Klydon. Peterman also said it. Obviously many lies were told on the show!

A: Jerry at Watley's party to just about everyone.

Q: "Empty calories and male curiousity, eh _______?"

Peterman was who I was thinking of. That episode is called "The Secret Code" (my informal title for it is "Bosco"). It's one of the all time greatest episodes.

That episode has one of my all-time favorite Kramer moments:

George: I am not giving you my code.

Kramer: I'll bet I can guess it.

George: Pssh. Yeah. Right.

Kramer: Oh, alright. Yeah. Uh, let's see. Um, well, we can throw out

birthdays immediately. That's too obvious. And no numbers for you, you're a

word man. Alright, let's go deeper. Uh, what kind of man are you? Well,

you're weak, spineless, a man of temptations, but what tempts you?

George: Huh?

Kramer: You're a portly fellow, a bit long in the waistband. So what's your

pleasure? Is it the salty snacks you crave? No no no no no, yours is a sweet

tooth.

George: Get out of here.

Kramer: Oh you may stray, but you'll always return to your dark master, the

cocoa bean.

I digress. Anybody have an answer to mine?
Q: "Empty calories and male curiousity, eh _______?"

Steinbrenner to George.

"Poor little Pinkus."

A: Kramer to Jerry re: the guy who was killed by Steve Gendeson
One in a series of great ways the show poked fun at the OJ Simpson saga


Q: "You can't let the defendant have control of the key piece of evidence. Plus, she's trying it on over a leotard, of course a bra's not gonna fit on over a leotard. A bra gotta fit right up a person's skin - like a glove!"

A: Jackie to Kramer
Q: And I yell, "I'm hit!"

A: Kramer recalling getting spit on by Roger McDowell in a brilliant re-enactment of the JFK film.

Q: "Remember - it's not a lie if you believe it."

A: George to Jerry
Q: Oh yeah? Well I had sex with your wife!

A: George to the jerk-store guy

Q: "Even I am not above the store policy."

A: Marcelino to Jerry (about Jerry's clown check standing on Marcelino's bodega)

Q: "this has got disaster written all over it"

A: Jerry to Kramer

Q: "You see those two ladies showing? Do you think they're scared?"

A: Kramer at card table.

Q: "I'm a man who respects a good coma."

A: Jerry to Gina

Q: "I think the chair is a fantastic gift idea. But I never heard of this Joe Mayo. And frankly it sounds made up."

A: Kramer in "the Reverse peephole"

Q: "You know, one of these days, something terrible is going to happen to you. It has to!"

"Nooo, I'll be fine"

A: Elaine to Jery

Q: "You useless pustule."

A: Newman to Jerry

Q: I feel like an out of work porn star!

A: Jerry to George

Q: "Remember - it's not a lie if you believe it."

A: George to Jerry

Q: Your Nana is missing because she's been passing those bum checks all over town and she finally pissed off the wrong people!

A: Kramer to Jerry
Q: You're gonna rub out the dog?

A: Jerry to Kramer

Q: "So I said 'nice try, Granny' and I sent her to the back of the line. Mwaaaahhh hahaha."