1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you> chop.
2. Avoid arguments with females about lifting toilet seat by using the sink.
3. For high blood pressure sufferers ~ simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thereby reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.
4. A mouse trap placed on top of the alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep by hitting the snooze button.
5. If you have a bad cough, take large doses of laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough.
6. You only need two tools in life - WD40 & duct tape. If it won't move and it should, use WD40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
7. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.
DAILY THOUGHT: Some people are like slinkies - not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs
