Fame & Gina,

I am thinking of you guys. Please continue keep us posted.



TIS

Ditto.

I've been away and I'm just reading these posts for the first time. I'm praying for you guys and your families.

Fame,

I hope you are feeling better. Please keep us informed on your recovery.

Fame,

Be strong, be positive, be calm. Inner peace goes a long way. Its what prayers do and support of friends. You have both here.

My aunt has passed away. After the second surgery for the new clot in her brain, her condition worsened. We weren't getting any reactions from her, no squeezing of our hands. While they were able to dissolve some of the clot, the anti-coagulant that they had to give her caused bleeding. They were having to control her blood pressure through medicine, and she wasn't able to breathe on her own anymore. The doctors told us that she'd had a lot of damage to the brain, that they couldn't do anything else (except another surgery, which they weren't sure she'd survive), and that she likely wouldn't wake up. This was such a horrible shock, coming directly after our increased hope in believing that she would regain consciousness and slowly improve.

My uncle was faced with the devastating decision between keeping her alive artificially and removing her from the machine to see if she could make it - knowing how small the chance was. He chose to take her off the machine, and we left it up to God...He would either grant us the miracle of her recovery or take her to an ultimate rest. My family told my uncle that we would support him in whatever he wished to do...and I truly believe he did the right thing. He and his sons knew that she couldn't be the same again, and that it wasn't fair to keep her in the condition she was in. As my uncle recognized, she simply wasn't "there" anymore. Now I take comfort in knowing she's at peace. I appreciate all of your support and prayers, and I ask now that you pray for my uncle and two cousins in this difficult time.

And if I may, I'll share some thoughts...

- Practically speaking, we've all agreed on the wisdom in writing a living will or expressing your wishes otherwise to your family. God forbid a similar situation happens to anyone, but the sad truth is that it's a possibility - something we never considered. My uncle and cousins had to make a decision based on what they thought was best for my aunt, but the emotional heartache it caused was terrible to see.

- I haven't been ignorant of all the tragedies that happen in the world, but this is the closest I've ever been to one in personal experience, and I've had several moments of being really angry about how unfair life can be. My uncle and cousins are such good people, that I really don't understand how this could happen to them. And even when bad things happen, there's sometimes at least something you can figure out or gain from it - but what we all keep coming back to with this is that it just doesn't make sense. I'm choosing the path of hope, though...I still believe in the power of good, of prayer, and of faith. And I'm keeping hope that my dear family members will make it through, and that someday they'll be reunited with their loved one.

- Life is short. You never know when you'll lose someone. You never know when it will be the last time that you speak to someone or see someone. From this, we should not choose to live in fear and worry, but rather to live better, and happily. These reminders come about every so often, but this one will leave a long-lasting impression on me, and I'd like for it to be a reminder to you all, also. Share your feelings with your loved ones, hug them, kiss them, and just enjoy being with them. None of us know how long we'll be here and together, but let's make the best of it.

{{{gina}}}

I'm so sorry to read that news; I was hoping that there would be a full recovery.

You and your family have my sympathies.

You've made some very astute points from this experience. I truly hope you can gather some sort of comfort from finding these things out now.

Gina,

I'm truly sorry to hear that. My heart is with you.

Gina, you are too sweet to have to experience such an agonizing loss, especially with the unfortunate choices that your uncle had to make. I am so very sorry, and I am sending you big sister hugs.

If you could learn that life is too short, something that too many people never learn, then your aunt's death was not in vain. Remember her fondly and the fun times that you all shared together. The little that I know of your family, I'm sure that's how she would have wanted.

Gina:

I am sorry for the loss of your aunt. You are experiencing emotions that many of us here have already. It does not matter whether you are 15, 45, or 65, it never is easy to lose a loved one. You mentioned how unfair it is - you are no doubt right. But very few things in our lives are fair. Just be comforted at all the good memories you have of your aunt in these difficult times.

I am incredibly sad for the pain you and your family are going through now. May she rest in eternal peace.

I'm so sorry, Gina.

Your last post (the one where you told us of your aunt's passing) was wise beyond your years. Way beyond your years. Some people never---at any age---seem to get what you've so clearly come to understand at such a young age.

You have my prayers.

PB

My sincerest condolences to both you and your family Gina.

Gina,

I was so saddened to read your post about your aunt's passing. Like everyone else, I was hoping for her full recovery.

The decision whether or not to keep someone alive artificially (especially when there has been such massive damage to their brain) is one of the most heart-wrenching things anyone can ever be put through. I've been there, and you and your family have my sincerest sympathy.

My prayers are with you all.

Signor V.

Dear Gina,

I am so sorry that your Aunt passed. You and your family can take comfort knowing that she's no longer in pain and she's in heaven where there is no sorrow or pain. And one day you will be reunited with her. What a joyous reunion that will be. Please give your family my heartfelt sympathies.

Gina,

I am so sorry to hear of your aunt's passing. It certainly isn't easy losing anybody you love, and Lord knows no words of comfort will erase the pain. However, let the fact that she is now at peace and out of pain be of some comfort to you. I'm still praying for you and your family Gina. God bless!!!

TIS

Gina, your wise, caring and heartfelt sharing of this sad experience with all of us is a fitting tribute to your aunt. I'm sure she'd approve of the lessons you've shared with us.

That's very sad news Gina. I am very sorry for your loss.

You'll reach-out to different groups of people for support, just as you did with your very eloquent reflections on your aunt's passing when you posted the news. In some way, emotionally and spiritually, we will all provide an arm to reach for, a hand to hold, and a shoulder to cry on. We will be a willing listener when you need to talk, with the wisdom to reply in a manner that provides sympathy, comfort, and the support and encouragement for you to keep moving forward during a very difficult time.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Peace be with you.

tony b.

You all are amazing people and friends...thank you.

I hadn't meant to write so much - I just knew I needed to give the news here - but I really appreciate all of the responses to my thoughts on what happened.

SC - I was hoping for a full recovery, too. I really believed it would be a test of endurance and faith, in helping her along and being patient as she slowly recovered and became well. Her family would've stayed strong the entire way. But I think we all knew, after the doctors spoke with us, that we wouldn't get that opportunity. I know that this experience will certainly bring the remaining seven of us even closer.

Fame - Thank you. My prayers are still with you.

SB - We will definitely keep in mind the happy memories we have of her and our families together. While my cousins and uncle are hurting right now, they also are able to smile and laugh in remembrance of the good times.

Goombah - Absolutely...there are few fair things in this life...so I maintain hope for some kind of justice in the next. Another lesson I learned from this is how unimportant the things are that I previously thought were such a big deal. Things that I got upset or mad about, I thought back to after she was in the hospital, and I realized that I'd taken a lot for granted.

Bethie - Thank you.

PB - Thank you. I'll work to always keep in mind what we've come to understand as a family.

DC - Thank you.

SV - Thank you. I'm so sorry for never before realizing (or I suppose considering) what a horrible decision it is. I've taken several philosophy classes in college, and in Ethics, we discussed issues like this. I always thought it was something I'd never want to be a part of, but also never believed it could actually happen to someone I know. By the time my uncle was ready, I think the rest of us already knew it needed to be done...but I know it must be infinitely more difficult for the person who actually chooses. We could see that she would never be the same, and it seemed she'd actually slipped deeper, away from us. I could sense that and know, but yet I don't know how I would handle the decision. It would've gotten harder for my uncle, every day that he let go by, so though I know he lives with great heartache, I'm glad he was able to let go. It has the appearance of being something "against" the patient, but I see it as an act of mercy for the loved one; the surviving family must make the sacrifice of dealing with the pain and loss, as a way of letting the person move on to his or her peaceful rest.

Mig - Absolutely; I take comfort in thinking of her that way now. And I hope dearly for her to someday be reunited with her husband and sons.

TIS - Thank you; the prayers are greatly appreciated.

TB - Thank you.

Tony - Thank you. I think you're very right about the support system that exists between people in their struggles. My mom has kept family and friends updated these past few weeks, and we've received wonderful support, through prayer, encouragement, and comfort. My uncle who lost his wife is brother to my dad - their cousin passed away quite a few years back, but his wife has been a huge help to my uncle because she went through similar experiences and is now able to provide him with understanding and sympathy.

This is basically it, Gina. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to slap people who thought their life sucked because they got a bad grade, and by bad I mean A minus. And they would go on and on about it for ages.
But I can't blame them. If those are their biggest troubles in life, then they're just lucky that they didn't have to learn the lessons you've learned in the hard way. People who have never experienced what you have, they can sympathize with you, but it probably won't leave a lasting effect on them, or change their personality. In a way it's like watching an episode of E.R. You see on TV how messed up our health can be, you can cry and get emotional, but after a while you go back to your own life and your own troubles, whatever they may be. What I'm trying to say is that the info is out there, and people know all about it, but you just can't truly understand what it feels like until you go throught this yourself.

Growing up isn't easy. Some people never do. Most are not aware of it. I've had my share of personal tragedies pretty early in life, and half of my childhood is lost in a way. I'm not too sure being wise before your time is such a good thing, but we all deal with it differently.

Remember that show, "The Wonder Years"? I still like to watch it sometimes...and I find myself getting all nostalgic over someone else's nostalgia. How life was innocent when I was a child, and how small my biggest troubles were.

Gina, life is unfair in so many ways, and yet there is still so much to love about it. I know your aunt is dead, but her love will never die. And may that love relight the torch of hapiness in you life, that you so rightfully deserve.

Gina, I remember you shared your cousin's picture here before. I've had their mother in my prayers since I heard the news and continue to pray for you all.

Unfortunately, I too am very upset right now b/c I recently received perhaps the most horrifying news of my life. I'm fine, but a young lady, a little older than yourself, whose family has been friends with mine since we were kids, has been battling Cancer for about the past 8 months. My dad called me and told me she now has Cervical cancer and the prognosis is very bad. She is perhaps not expected to live through the month. I knew she was sick but never expected anything like this. She's unmarried, has a 3 yr old son, lost her own father when she and her brother were toddlers, and I know this will absolutely devastate her mother, brother and step-father.

I'm sorry to interrupt your thread, but we're all talking about the power of prayer and living for the moment, and I do believe in the power of prayer, I truly do, and if there's anyway you all could fit my friend into your prayers and thoughts for Gina'a family I would greatly appreciate it. She was one of the sweetest girls I'd ever met in my life. Her mother is an Irish Catholic from Boston, and her father an Hispanic man who was killed while working in a freak construction accident when she and her brother were still in diapers. The mother moved them to Texas, married an old friend of my dad's, and she was like a sister I never had. How I wish now that we hadn't grown apart. I'm only about 5 years older than her, but I remember giving she and her brother piggyback rides when they were still babies.

Sorry to bring furthur grief on everyone but I thought this story would reiterate what's already been stated here, that we truly have to be thankful for every millisecond we have in this life. Tears fill my eyes as I type this and I can't help thinking that if everyone lived each moment like it was their last this world would be a virtual utopia. When I was in college I lost two high school friends to suicides and then a grandmother all within weeks of one another, and it just never gets easier, does it....


May God Bless and Keep your Aunt, Forever.

We had the vigil service Tuesday and the funeral Wednesday. Those were two very rough days for all of us. I went in on Tuesday morning with my dad to drop off some things, so we went in to see her, and I was alright. Sad, of course, but okay. When we came later, and I walked in with my cousins, I was completely torn apart in seeing them become so emotional. I just feel so bad for them. The positive part was all of the support from family and friends. Quite a few high school friends showed up, as well as the "band moms" who volunteered with my aunt - they were all so caring. And the many relatives that came were of comfort to us. I've forced my cousin into a deal of calling me everyday, or I'll call him...and hopefully that helps him in taking it a day at a time.

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Fame, you're so right. It just doesn't hit you until you go through it. And I know that's happened to me many times, where I had an "epiphany" about something or another, but the lesson didn't last because it faded from my mind. It's sad that it sometimes takes something really painful or serious to have a lasting impression, but I guess that's how we learn.

And about being bothered when other people worry about much smaller things, I still don't know how you deal with that...with the problem you have now, I'm sure it's especially hard to hear people complain about a bad hair day or bad weather, or other such things, because you're the one personally dealing with such a challenging issue. Much of my pain right now is sorrow for what my cousins and uncle are dealing with. I love and miss my aunt, but I've yet to deal with losing someone as close as my mom. Other things come to my mind, and I go on with school and life at home, but they will be reminded everyday and every moment of what's missing for them. I only wish I could ease that pain of theirs. But I do and will think twice now, before considering myself unfortunate for simple troubles. I don't get mad at those who don't realize it - I just wish I could bring my relatives to a similar way of life, where that's the most of their worries. I also don't know if it's fair or good that you had to grow up so quickly through the suffering you've experienced, but it's obvious that you've become very wise, thoughtful, and gracious in the way you live.

Oh, and I loved The Wonder Years! I used to watch it with my family, and my brother used to say I was like the hippie sister, while I compared him to the bully brother.

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Ice, thank you for your prayers. I meant to respond sooner, but I read this earlier and have already included your friend in my prayers. I'm hoping for the best.

Gina, your cousins are very lucky to have someone as caring as you in their lives. I'm sure that your aunt is watching over all of you, and I pray for your family in the days and weeks ahead. The only good thing is that it does get easier. It never gets easy, but it does get easier. And know that you have an angel watching over all of you.

Iam very sorry to hear that.

ds