I found a legal way to beat the snot out of your kids. And they think it's hilarious.

We had an epic pillow fight at our house last night. Nine kids and me. I was the only adult willing to join in for some reason. Of the nine kids only two of them are boys, my 15 year old stepson and his friend. I thought it would be comical to join in the fight with my girlfriends six foot long body pillow. Unfortunately I didn't think strategically and the pillow wrapped itself around one of the girls who fell down taking the pillow out of my hands. I then took a severe beating from all nine kids at once, including some headache inducing blows from the two teenage boys (the girls are all much younger). So I crawled away while everyone was laughing at me and my stepson was bragging that nobody beats him in a pillow fight.

So I took that as a challenge and got a regular size pillow. I then nearly knocked him out with to head shots, and one to his friend. They ran out of the room to get away but were laughing hard.

So it's possible to beat the crap out of your kids as long as it's with pillows!