Well I'm not sure how many of you knew I had begun work as a Security Guard, But already, after a week and a half, I've had quite a few funny things happen to me.

It's Winter at the moment here and I've been freezing my ass off at work.

A few days ago, I was patrolling a building site at about 10 pm. I was bored as hell and just humming music in my head while walking around etc. I was actually thinking about how easy it would be for me to steal the copper that was lying around the place and sell it. After a while I heard some noises that sounded like talking up ahead. Now this place I was patrolling is going to be some world wide Telecommunications place and they're adamant on protecting the place very thoroughly. So, with my trust Torch, I went to Investigate. As I was nearing the back of the building (which is bloody massive, 45 stories etc) I heard clearly someone saying, "Somebody's coming". I turn the corner and shine the torch in the direction of the sound. I spot two guys, huddled over a bong smoking weed..( Or trying too as it was windy and cold!!!!)

I actually chuckled, as it brought back memories of my younger care free days. I walked up to them and realized they were about 17 - 18 years old. I told them it was all good, But they had to move along. One of the guys was cool and began emptying out the bong and putting it back in his plastic bag, But the other guy started saying shit like "Fucking Rent a cop" "Fuck you [BadWord]" etc.

Now, we're told to report anything that happens into the walkie Talkie and our Head quarters will call the cops for us. I stayed off the Walkie - Talkie and asked again nicely for them to leave. The arrogant prick called me a Rent A cop again and that really annoyed me!! I dislike cops. So I got a little angry and said loudly " Fuck Off or I'll beat ya head in" and I pulled out my Night stick (which is made up of Solid Wood funny enough).

Now the other guy was saying something like " C'mon man, lets just go etc...sorry dude we'll go" But his friend wouldn't let it go. He kept mouthing off, so I ran at him pretending I was gonna beat him up good when I was only going to swing him to the ground and perhaps smack him up a little and send him on his way. I've recently put on quite a bit of muscle and look kinda huge in my puffy jacket and Night stick. haha. As I ran at him, the little prick swings a 2 by 4 at me that he had hidden behind his back. Luckily I ducked it and with my momentum I hit him with my forearm( as we've been instructed to) and sent him to the ground, But he had hold of my jacket and I fell on top of him. He starts putting his hand in my face and tries to push my head back. So I use my Night stick and press it on his throat ( which is highly illegal, But what else could I do) and start choking him. He lets go of my face and grabs my Night stick. I jump up and at the same time snatch my baton from him and raise it above my head, pretending I'm gonna beat the shit outta him and he curls over screaming " Don't ..shit..I'm sorry etc"
I once again yell "Get the fuck outta here" and as he gets up, I grab him by the front of his jumper and give him a little head butt to the mouth, which I semi missed and his cheekbone got me under the eye, so now I'm sporting a black eye. hahaha. Anyways, they took off and when I went to sign in at the end of my shift, I avoided my Boss so he wouldn't see me with the black eye. I could get fired for that.

Anyways, I've got a couple more stories, But I'll write them another time.