I heard a story from China where the people were freaking out over a monster living in a lake, similar to Loch Ness, so the government drained the entire lake to prove there was nothing there and to stop the panicking. I'm telling you man, the Chinese are years ahead of us.
"Somebody told me when the bomb hits, everybody in a two mile radius will be instantly sublimated, but if you lay face down on the ground for some time, avoiding the residual ripples of heat, you might survive, permanently fucked up and twisted like you're always underwater refracted. But if you do go gas, there's nothing you can do if the air that was once you is mingled and mashed with the kicked up molecules of the enemy's former body. Big-kid-tested, motherf--ker approved."
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