To show everyone that you had a good time?

Oh yeah! That's why every single pair of my undies are on the wall!

Awww...the one flaw in the plan.

But from the way you and SC are talking, I'm not sure I should risk another trip into this place...the Ladies' Thread is SO much more refined. And cootie-free, mind you. We disinfect.

The Ladies Thread is the better thread no doubt about it but sometimes I like to pop in and see how the other half is and spread some redneck hillbilly cooties.

Plus, it is sort of fun to be coarse and disgusting every now and then, just like the guys.

Hey guys, check out this beauty - it's a Hewlett-Packard DFR323 Super-Charged Cootie Detector with the optional Virus Killer attachment. Let's see if it works.

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM (sound of machine surveying the room).

EH EH EH EH EH EH EH EH EH (sound of machine indicating that "something" was found).

Peeling off the print out to see what was found.

[*] Detected Food Separation Cooties - indicates phobic fear of mixing mashed potatoes and vegetables together.

[*] Detected Smoked Venison Meat Cooties - indicates deer meat farts left behind. Also detected were strange canned pasta indications; unable to decipher.

[*] Detected "Twilight Zone" Music Cooties - subspecies Texan accented.

Guys, I think we had three intruders in here.

Those cooties sound like they belong to three familiar people. Anyone I know?

But I gotta tell you, SC, whoever sold you that Cootie Detector obviously had you fooled about its reliability...if it were any bit useful, it would've detected all the cooties you BOYS have spread!!

Why is it that women never "get" men's fascination with tools? EVERYONE knows the Hewlett-Packard DFR323 is geared for men and already filters out male cooties.

Geeesch.

Ahhh! Geared for men, you say?

So there's no instruction manual, it's easy to put back together since it's almost guaranteed it'll be taken apart at some point, and it 'fixes' the problem of male cooties by simply ignoring it.

God bless ya, gina, you understand perfectly!

Between your love and knowledge of the game of baseball and "The Twilight Zone" we may just have to make ya an honorary member here.

How do you feel about The Three Stooges?

How did my attempt at a playful jab turn into this?

But my understanding comes from the years I've observed my dad, brother, uncles, and two cousins act like 'typical' men. And like the typical gal, I've been in the background, rolling my eyes.

I haven't watched The Three Stooges in a long while, but no worries - my dad raised me to appreciate them!

Gotta ask...would honorary membership make me immune to your cooties? That'd be a nice bonus.

And you know what just popped into my head?

The Curly Shuffle
http://youtube.com/watch?v=FKAfXdb5LsA

Have you heard the song? My parents had a recording I'd listen to when I was very little, and we somehow rediscovered it recently, along with this video. It's a favorite of ours.

Doubtful. Female hormones are impossible for any male to comprehend, and an honorary membership here wouldn't be able to combat those hormones. Talk about jock itch, lies about women we've had and belching, farting and crotch scratching don't mix with female hormones.

Maybe you'll get a partial membership allowing you access to the bar here.

The Curly Shuffle is an old-time favorite of mine. I love Curly! He was quite a character, both on and off screen.

Maybe I'll join you guys for happy hour sometime...and hopefully will get tipsy enough so as not to be bothered by the belching, scratching, farting, etc. That is, IF I'm honored with that partial membership you speak of!

It's a shame we don't offer these memberships over in our thread...but we'd never agree on any because of our mood swings.

Awww...

And now that I'm on the 'inside,' I'll assume I have the power to dub SB and Mig as honorary members, also. Just wait until we're all here together! We'll bring some chick flicks - Sleepless in Seattle, for sure...tissue boxes are a must, since we'll all be sniffling throughout the movie...some chocolate...and don't worry, we'll be sure to bring some flowers and themed decor to spruce up this place!

You'll be so happy you had us join!

Well welcome aboard, Gi. It's always good to have you. You'll have to forgive the smell in here, but... we fart. Although some more conspicuously and covertly than others I assure you.

And are you guys sure about that name of that song? B/c I was sure it was called The Curly Shovel.

Oh, SC, I can't believe that you had to leave it to Gina to bring us in as members!! You give your loyalty to a Texan before your own fellow New Yawker? For shame!! However, as a typical guy, I will assume that you were distracted by your HP Cootie Detector, and established a relationship with Gina, who was the female present at the time (no disrespect meant to Gina there, btw).

Gina, thank YOU for remembering your fellow ladies. You bring Terms of Endearment, and I'll be sure to bring the scented candles. Oh, and let's not forget the dark chocolate for those certain days of the month (even MENTIONING a woman's cycle is sure to freak the guys out).

Yes thank you my dear Gina for making me a member. I'll bring in Steel Magnolias, a lighter for SB's candles and a bag of Frito's, Warm pj's and fuzzy slippers for us ladies for those cold nights when we stay up late to watch chick flicks.

Note to SC: Since Gina made me a member of the Guys Thread I am taking back my Honorary Italianship you took from me.

That's the same face that Mr. Babe makes, living with all women!! Imagine what it was like around here when those days rolled around AND I was in the throes of nicotine withdrawal!!

Mig, you tell him! You gotta lay those ground rules early.

SC!! What have you done!?

Maybe we should fart up the Ladies Thread!

I fucked up. Royally.

I'm going through the Rules book to see how I can get out of this.

Sorry, guys!!

Wait about 20 minutes... I gotta finish eating all these burritos with extra hot sauce.

Good idea. While normally it's just something we do in our spare time, we have been pushed back to our last line of defense... bodily functions.

We're defending our very homeland. Those last lines of defense will save us!! Dem broads will go running out of here with tears in their eyes!

I just hope it's bad enough to stop them before they come at us with more of that confusing fancy talk about feelings and stuff.

I forgive you for getting us into this situation SC. It's so typical that a girl tricks you into loving her than WHAM! Stabs you in the back! We can pull through this!