Hillary and Obama met last night in secret. I can now reveal I have a transcript of the meeting which was taped and delivered here:

Obama - Is there anything else you can tell me about your attacks on my inexperience, and your Husband's race baiting.

Hillary - I was kept pretty much in the dark. All I know is they have Bill alive and he says he's not ready to shut up.

Obama - What can you tell me about the rest of this nominating process, and McCain's offer to have these unscripted town hall meetings?

Hillary - I ran into Cindy McCain in Beverly Hills. She said you were being tough on the negotiations and that there would be something in it for me if Bill and I attacked you and weakened you if you became the nominee.

Obama - And you believed that story?

Hillary -She said there would be something in it for ME on my own.

Obama - I would take care of you.

Hillary - You take care of me? Your a kid senator and I was passed over.

Obama - its the way the party wanted it.

Hillary - Its not the way I wanted it. For all these years all I heard was Hillary, go out and cook up a health care plan, Hillary put up with the Monica scandal, Hillary run from New York for the Senate, Hillary go out to the airport and get on a plane, Hillary go run some Mickey Mouse committee someplace. There was something in it for me! I can handle things. I'm smaht not dumb like everyone says, I'm smaht and I want respect.

Obama - Is there anything else you can tell me about this election?

Hillary - Crist, the governor in Florida who controls their voting machines?? He belongs to McCain.

Obama - Hillary, you're nothing to me now. You're not a colleague, you're not a friend. I don't want to see you in the Senate Cloakroom, I don't want to see you on the campaign trail. When you come to the Senate floor for a vote I want to know thirty minutes in advance so I wont be there. (He walks off)

Hillary - Barry????