If there was that'd explain the boredom

Bank Holiday Monday here in the UK.

A nice day off work but there i nothing to do,everything is shut

There is football on the TV and beer in the fridge so all is not lost

Nice time of the year for a day off. What is the occasion? I'm guessing it's not Cinco de Mayo.

Speaking of Mexican food - I had the runs pretty bad at work tonight. I'm reminded that I'd like to mangle the fucking idiot who designed the toilet paper dispensers in our bathroom there. You have to be a damned double-jointed midget to be able to grab the paper in this huge, plastic covered dispenser.

I'd love to eat a plateful of spicy Mexican food and then squat over the (toilet paper dispenser) designer's desk.

And there's a picture that will be with me for WAY longer than I would like. Thanks.

Ok, now I think I can say I've heard everything. A guy wants to sue because a beer made him drunk. I wish I could get drunk off a one beer. It'll be a lot cheaper.

Well, if McDonald's can be sued for making people fat............

A Romanian man has lodged an official complaint with the local trading standards agency after he got drunk on a single beer.

35-year-old Iancu Boroi says he bought a can of beer at a local supermarket in Arges and he says he got so drunk after drinking it he nearly passed out.

Boroi claims he can hold his drink and that "it is ridiculous to think one can of beer can get me so drunk."

He believes there was something wrong with the beer. He wants compensation and is demanding the Consumer Protection Office investigate.

You??? One beer??? "Old Hollow Leg Bethie"???

That story is precious. Crazy, but precious.

I think it is a nice popularity trick from the company - good way to tell people that their beer is strong. After a week, they will fizzle out the alw suit and retain the benefit of free advertizement over news channels

There was a story in the paper about a guy who loved Pabst Blue Ribbon beer so much he had a custom coffin made that is a PBR can. He's using it in the mean time as a cooler. Would that count as one beer?

Yes, I think this "one" beer would do the trick.

Its just May Day for us.

I believe we pinched it off the Russians which in the old days meant we had to pretend to be communists for the day. Nowadays though we have to pretend to be distasteful,oil-rich oligarchs instead

Whatever?

I'll be a Chinaman for a day off if need be......

Friday's drawing for the MegaMillions lottery is $145 million!!

Ya gotta be in it to win it!

My son's 13th birthday is Friday. My wife wants to get him a new television for his room, and saw the ideal model advertised at Target. I went to our local Target tonight, and was told that they were sold out, but their store about 20-25 minutes away has four in inventory.

I drove to that store and saw the model on display, but couldn't find a sales clerk for 10 minutes. When I found him, he clicked on the UPS code, and told me they were sold out, and can't sell me the floor model. I explained that the clerk in the first store assured me there were four here.

The answer I got was, "Can't go by that, dude. The numbers are whacked." He tried to hook me on the rain check, and couldn't understand that the rain chack was useless because the tv was intended as a gift. I left him to go back to his wacky tobaccy and left.

Kly,

Too bad dude!!!! That is pretty whacked isn't it?

Usually Target has pretty good deals and a fair supply of tvs. Did you find another store that might have them?

TIS

Am I the only one looking forward to the new BB update?

I sure hope you ain't holding your breath.

What the hell is a BB update?

You see the big sticky thread at the top of every single forum? Click that.

Oh I see.

I have a wax buildup in my right ear that's driving me CRAZY.

How are you treating it?

With Debrox brand ear drops and that stupid little blue syringe. I have an ear doctor who can usually just flush it out, but I can't get an appointment until next week. I may just go over to DOCS and pay cash. At least they'll take me today.

He's taking it out for lunch this afternoon.

Why do hospitals have to have ridiculous names for products. We're back ordered on some urinals, and my boss asks me what's the status of the nun's cap. I was like, "WTF's a nun's cap"? And why would a hospital worry about what a nun has on her head. I have no idea where that terminology came from.

Try this. Use stool softener, about a capful for about 20 minutes. Then flush it out.

Stool softener for PB??

PB, a cap full of hydrogen peroxide might help. Lay on your side until the "crackling" stops, then try to (gently) flush it out.

My brother had the same problem. He took off his glasses, laid his head on the table and put the drops in his ear. When it started to burn, he realized that he had mistakenly put Echinacea (sp?) in his ear.

The funny part is that my OTHER brother had an eye infection at the same time. He took HIS glasses off to put his antibiotic drops in his eye. When THAT started to burn, he realized that he had mistakenly put Binaca in his eye.

Maybe they shouldn't take off their glasses.

I'm sorry, but those Olsen twins are really weird looking. They give my the heebee-jeebees.

You think??