And then when the winter rolls around you complain about your furnace bill....and when spring rolls around you compalin about gas prices....summer your electric bill....and when autumn rolls around you complian about the last three seasons! DUH!!! You're never happy!

That's just because she's a woman

As you get some more marital experience under your belt, you'll learn NEVER to say two things when talking to a woman :

"....Because she's a woman"

...and NEVER use the C word!

That phrase and that word are two NO NO's when talking with a woman!

The use of either that phrase or that word will make them LOSE their mind on you! And they will not be held responsible for their actions!

Cuddle? I thought they liked that...

I like to live dangerously

You mean that you have a death wish!

It's kind of like disarming a bomb... "What would happen if I cut the blue wire?" type of thing

My downstairs neighbors still have their Christmas lights on their window (but thankfully don't still plug them in). The same neighbors last year had the A/C AND Christmas lights in all year around... and I think the kids sleep in that room!

Pfft! What do you think I'm wearing when I'm online??

I'm very thankful that I've no idea.

Good for your eyesight I suppose

Women's clothing?

That's exactly what your eyes would do if you saw it

I remember I was hammering on a fence in the backyard when Dad approached. He was carrying a letter or something in his hand, and he looked worried. I continued to hammer as he came toward me. "Son," he said, "why are you hammering on that fence? It already has plenty of nails in it." "Oh, I'm not using nails," I replied. "I'm just hammering." With that, I returned to my hammering. Dad asked me to stop hammering, as he had some news. I did stop hammering, but first I got a couple more hammers in, and this seemed to make Dad mad. "I said, stop hammering!" he yelled. I think he felt bad for yelling at me, especially since it looked like he had bad news. "Look," he said, "you can hammer later, but first-" Well, I didn't even wait to hear the rest. As soon as I heard "You can hammer," that's what I started doing. Hammering away, happy as an old hammer dog. Dad tried to physically stop me from hammering by inserting a small log of some sort between my hammer and the fence. But I just kept on hammering, 'cause that's the way I am when I get that hammer going. Then, he just grabbed my arm and made me stop. "I'm afraid I have some news for you," he said. I swear, what I did next was not hammering. I was just letting the hammer swing lazily at arm's length, and maybe it tapped the fence once or twice, but that's all. That apparently didn't make any difference whatsoever to Dad, because he just grabbed my hammer out of my hand and flung it across the field. And when I saw my hammer flying helplessly through the air like that, I just couldn't take it. I burst out crying, I admit it. And I ran to the house, as fast as my legs could take me. "Son, come back!" yelled Dad. "What about your hammer?!" But I could not have cared less about hammering at that point. I ran into the house and flung myself onto my bed, pounding the bed with my fists. I pounded and pounded, until finally, behind me, I heard a voice. "As long as you're pounding, why not use this?" I turned, and it was Dad, holding a brand-new solid-gold hammer. I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes and ran to Dad's outstretched arms. But suddenly, he jumped out of the way, and I went sailing through the second-story window behind him. Whenever I hear about a kid getting in trouble with drugs, I like to tell him this story.

I'm on a different antidepressant (one without sexual side effects) and it really helps but it's a little like my mind went on vacation. Vacations not a bad place to be, but when you go to pick up your wife and drive right past the place....

Kind of defeats the benefit of not having any sexual side effects.

Why? I always have Rosie with me...

Listen to this with headphones:

http://rapidshare.com/files/96945767/virtual_barber_shop.mp3.html

I heard a 70's song on the radio the other day that I haven't heard in years. "Afternoon Delight" by Starland Vocal Band.

I haven't been to a Broadway play in a few years so I'm not really familiar with what seats are selling for. One of the gals from work was telling me that "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" is back (with an all black cast starring James Earl Jones, one of my favorite actors, as Big Daddy). I figured I'd check out the seats .... orchestra seats are selling for $250+. HOLY DOODYBALLS!!! The last time I bought tix there (2 years ago) they were only $95. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED???

Broadway shows are out of control. I guess they need to make up the lost revenue from the big strike.

Yo-Yo Ma

I am farking exhausted this morning.

Must be all of that unexpected traveling.

What unexpected traveling?

The pizza delivery guy that didn't want to deliver to your bathroom door.

I had a weird dream last night where I was looking for Don Cardi...

A $100,000 Shower