I thought on this some more. I wonder if mob protocol of what was considered "personal" and what was considered "business" might have been at least part of why Vito refused to interfere in Connie's problems.
Maybe Vito thought it would set a bad precedent within his larger Family if he "corrected" Carlo. In the hundreds of loyal buttons that ultimately answer to the Don there must be at least a few dozen who are abusive to their wives. Would the Don have wanted to get involved in their marital affairs?
As long as you're making money for your leaders and following orders I don't think the bosses care too much about how you treat your wife-unless/until it interferes with business.
And while I think Sonny definitely would have been remorseful about the situation, I wonder if Vito wouldn't have told Connie something like "You married this guy I didn't think too highly of. You're grown. You deal with it".
Of course in the film Vito doesn't see the extent of the beatings. Sonny does.
In the novel, Vito and his wife do, in fact, display that attitude. Vito's statements indicate that he thinks wife-beating can be appropriate in some circumstances.
Also in the novel Mike tells Tom that everything is personal.
