I think you're wrong. Just saying the words is extremely comforting. I am thrilled beyond belief that I got to say that to Paul before he passed, and that he replied in kind.

Years ago, my dad was very sick and was facing heart bypass surgery. Having gone through this with Annie (and not saying "goodbye") I was determined to speak my peace to my dad before the surgery (which was "iffy" at that point). I flew down to North Carolina (where he was at that time) and asked my mom and sister to leave us alone for five minutes. I poured my heart out to my father, telling him what a great man and father he was, and he watched me intently form his hospital bed. He didn't say anything as I spoke but we both had tears in our eyes. I finished what I meant to say and kissed him and walked out.

He had the surgery (successfully) and a few days later I asked him about what I had said to him the week prior. He didn't remember any of it (he was so doped up with medications that he simply forgot it). I didn't know if I should laugh or cry about that.