You know what? I have absolutely no problem with going gray. None at all.
Besides, then when I'm 65, I can just continually dye my hair bright green without wasting time or money on applying peroxide to my hair, and then little kids will be too afraid to try to fuck around with my lawn.
"Somebody told me when the bomb hits, everybody in a two mile radius will be instantly sublimated, but if you lay face down on the ground for some time, avoiding the residual ripples of heat, you might survive, permanently fucked up and twisted like you're always underwater refracted. But if you do go gas, there's nothing you can do if the air that was once you is mingled and mashed with the kicked up molecules of the enemy's former body. Big-kid-tested, motherf--ker approved."
