Bastardo! \:D

A little over a year ago, when I had My Dinner With Plawrence at Adelman's Deli, he just stared in amazement at the three frankfurters and huge white meat turkey on rye (with several helpings from their salad bar) I ordered. He couldn't believe it when I said afterwards that I forgot to order their chicken soup with matzoh balls!

But, no liver. Ever.

See if you remember this - I can still recall it after forty years, word for word, from MAD magazine:

*************************

(Sung to the tune of "Moon River")

Chopped liver...onions on the side
My social life has dried...from you.

My friends shun me...they outrun me
The smell of your breath is slow death, sad but true.

Your odor's...twice as bad as beer
And people who drink beer agree.

I know that your smell will not end
Always I'll offend
My halitosis friend
Chopped liver...and me!

*************************

Signor V.

"For me, there's only my wife..."

"Sure I cook with wine - sometimes I even add it to the food!"

"When life itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies?"

"It was a grass harp... And we listened."

"Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it? Every, every minute?"

"No. Saints and poets, maybe... they do some."