Hey, bogey, you know what's worse than putting a bag of dog shit on your boss's doorstep and lighting it on fire?

Shitting on his doorstep, and then smothering it in lighter fluid and lighting it on fire.

Unless your shit is naturally flammable for some bizarre reason. Then you can leave the bit about lighter fluid out.


"Somebody told me when the bomb hits, everybody in a two mile radius will be instantly sublimated, but if you lay face down on the ground for some time, avoiding the residual ripples of heat, you might survive, permanently fucked up and twisted like you're always underwater refracted. But if you do go gas, there's nothing you can do if the air that was once you is mingled and mashed with the kicked up molecules of the enemy's former body. Big-kid-tested, motherf--ker approved."