Spielberg makes generic/popcorn/crowd pleaser flicks, something I've never had much interest in. I wouldn't say "mainstream" because I enjoy plenty of mainstream cinema, and I don't want to look like the pompous jackass who goes out of his way to just watch independent flicks. But Spielberg needs to take a few risks before I can respect him and his generic summer blockbusters... Spielberg movies are to cinema as one night stands are to sex; a few leave a lasting impression, but for the most part they're quick fixes that fail to maintain any relevancy to you or your life. They're exciting, but they sort of fail to establish any real connections with their audience. You know?

As for Rocky... I hate the standard happy-ending sports flick. You know, like the hero is going to come out on top and learn some sort of lesson whilst the audience feels inspired, or something. I loved Raging Bull, but Raging Bull was far from your standard boxing film. It was as depressing as watching a child with downs syndrome being squashed by the revolving tires of a bus, the protagonist learns a lesson, but is the most self-destructive, self-loathing human being on the face of the earth (so much to the point that the audience must question whether or not they even like him), and the audience feels something far from inspiration. Rocky is about as sappy and happy-go-lucky as they come. It's a real head-trip, for me at least.

If you think I'm being tough on Rocky, you should hear my thoughts on the painfully mediocre Million Dollar Baby.


"Somebody told me when the bomb hits, everybody in a two mile radius will be instantly sublimated, but if you lay face down on the ground for some time, avoiding the residual ripples of heat, you might survive, permanently fucked up and twisted like you're always underwater refracted. But if you do go gas, there's nothing you can do if the air that was once you is mingled and mashed with the kicked up molecules of the enemy's former body. Big-kid-tested, motherf--ker approved."