So, my friend/drummer has been having some weird problems with his digestive system. He's better now, but he went to the hospital last night to get it checked out, and apparently his liver is really fucked up.

The doctor assumed he was an alcoholic, and began accosting him with a very round-about questionnaire.

"Somebody told me when the bomb hits, everybody in a two mile radius will be instantly sublimated, but if you lay face down on the ground for some time, avoiding the residual ripples of heat, you might survive, permanently fucked up and twisted like you're always underwater refracted. But if you do go gas, there's nothing you can do if the air that was once you is mingled and mashed with the kicked up molecules of the enemy's former body. Big-kid-tested, motherf--ker approved."