In the interest of at least keeping the summer interesting, these are the moves the Yankees should make to remain...umm..."competitive."

1.) Acquire Milton Bradley. You could get him for a bag of potato chips (as the Royals did for all of five seconds before the injury wiped out the trade). Send the A's a briefcase with unmarked $1 bills.

Why this makes sense: The Yankees could use an offensive upgrade over Melky. Despite the problems associated with Bradley (still rather have him than Elijah Dukes, *shudder*), he has some nice stats and can get on the ball. Considering his price is ridiculously low, the Yankees can move Damon to the DL and have a competent hitter and fielder playing center.

2.) Send Damon to the DL. I realize he is proud of his record of never spending time on the DL, but all things must pass.

Why it makes sense: Damon contributes nothing right now. His legs are dragging, so he can't steal or make plays in the outfield. You could get a Little Leaguer out there with a better gun from center field. Send him to the DL. If he comes back still out of sorts, its time to consider shipping him. Damon is under contract until 2009. He'll need to be a full-time DH by then, and I don't think its worth it.

3.) Sign Sal Fasano AGAIN. They never should have let him go in the first place, but the 'stache had some panache that we lack this year.

Why it makes sense: Wil Nieves has spent 11+ years in the minors. He can't hit nor play defense (despite Mike Mussina's adopting him as his exclusive catcher). Fasano played the best defense behind the plate when the Yankees didn't have a guy named Posada there already. Toronto has cut him, so he should be an easy, cheap pickup.

4.) Revamp the bullpen. Some of us were optimistic about Brian Cashman's patchwork this offseason. We shouldn't have been. This bullpen is one of the worst in baseball, and there is no confidence in this team for holding a lead. Trade for Gagne and/or Otsuka as solid set-up men, who can anchor the back end for the first time since Tom "Flash" Gordon left. Cut Ron Villone. Trade Kyle Farnsworth for whatever you can. I'm not high on Vizcaino, but he seems to be improving a little. The Yankees have two relievers lighting up the minors - Chris Britton and Edwar Ramirez. Promote them. This offseason, deal Viz and cut Myers, and get some decent bullpen help.

Why it makes sense: When you have a team with aging starting pitching that can't make it past 5-6 innings, there is no way you can have a bullpen as shaky as this one. Yearning for the days of Rivera-Wetteland-Nelson? Yeah. So is everyone else. These kids cannot be any worse than our current bullpen.

5.) Make the deal for Mark Teixiera NOW. Yes, it will cost some serious prospects - including Ian Kennedy or Betances or Chamberlain or Joba. I doubt that the deal would get done with only Clippard/Wright/DeSalvo. Clippard would be the only viable prospect in that deal. But sooner, rather than later, would be appropriate. The Yankees have no first baseman with both hitting and defensive prowess.

Why it makes sense: The Yankees are in the Teixiera sweepstakes, but other teams will be pushing hard for his services. With a glut of prospects in our system, this is why you have trading chips. He's young, he's a Gold Glove defensive player, and he hammers the ball a ton. First time we've seen a player like that since Mattingly. It gets him acquainted with the rest of the infield throughout the end of 2007, ready to go full-time in 2008. Will it cost a lot? Yep. Will it be worth it? Yep. The last few seasons have shown that patchwork will not work with this aging team.

OTHER ALTERNATIVES: Devil Rays need to get rid of an outfielder. Go after Carl Crawford. He would be a huge addition. I'd also be satisfied with Rocco Baldelli, even though he has a bit of injury trouble. Jermaine Dye is out of the question, imho. He's too old, and he's in his walk year. I wouldn't go after Buerhle either, unless he comes cheap, which he won't. Mussina needs to go. Somehow. Somewhere. Giambi too. Both guys have albatross contracts in terms of liquidity, with full NTC's and are signed for awhile. The Angels want Giambi. Good. Make it worth it for him to be gone.