Michael in Mayberry


Andy - I thought we'd be alone.
Michael - I trust these men with my life Sheriff it would be an insult to ask them to leave.
Andy- Well I intend to speak candidly to you...
Michael (gestures)
Andy I hear your making a move on the Mayberry Hotel and Floyd's Barber Shop.
Michael - Fife's a good man.
Andy - The zoning for the hotel is grandfathered in so you'll have no problem there, but you don't have a barber's license so you can't get the shop without one. But you can get one for $200,000 and five per cent of the gross of the hotel and the shop's revenues..... including the money Floyd makes in his back room bookie operation.
Michael - Now why would I pay $200,000 for a one chair barber shop when the cost of a barber's license is $2.50?
Andy - Cause I intend to squeeze you. I don't like your people coming here to this lovely small town with your oily hair and your shiny silk suits...you and your whole fucking family.
Michael - You and I are part of the same hippocrisy, Sherrif Taylor, but never think it applies to my family.
Andy- All right, you play your little games, and I'll play mine but I want your answer by tomorrow, and another thing. Never contact me again. You go through Fife.
Michael - You can have my answer now. The answer is nothing. And I'd appreciate it if you would pick up the license fee and bring me and my men a dozen of Aunt Bee's home made pies.