This is the so-called "Summer of the Sequels", so as a cheap tie-in, how about we moan and complain about bad sequels? Prequels technically are allowed as well.

CONAN THE DESTROYER (1984)

Sequel to: CONAN THE BARBARIAN (1982)
Why the Original Rocked: Mythical excellent storytelling
Why the Sequels Sucks: PG rating, goofyness, Dino

In 1982, crazy mountain man filmmaker John Milius gave us the most awesome comic book movie of all time. Forget SIN CITY, BATMAN BEGINS, and whatever blockbuster-formula action compounded movies we get these days.

CONAN THE BARBARIAN is just so awesome because Milius delivers a myth the right way, the appropriate way, and not simply shoehorned into a friendly package. Using its R-rating well, the hero in Arnold Shwarzenegger hacks, fucks, and slave-breed his way to revenge against Thulsa Doom and chop himself an empire, opening all for an even cooler sequel.

Crom is denied!

Basically, some bad things happened. One, producer Dino DeLaurentiis looked at BARBARIAN's profits and had some theory that if the sequel was PG-rated friendly, it would make MORE of a profit for the meatball than another R-rated movie.

John Milius stood up to him and politely disagreed....Dino fired him. Dino gathers up Richard Fleischer, that journeyman director who shot stuff from the incredibly silly DR. DOOLITTLE (yes, a guy that shot a musical is shooting a CONAN sequel ) and Wilt Chamberlin is added to cast. Sadly, without his 2000 lays.

So we get CONAN THE DESTROYER, where everything is incredibly cheesy, silly, goofy, so friendly, so Shitty. Conan goes from an awesome badass hero to a loser. Crom is MAD!

Oh, and Dino made less money on DESTROYER than on BARBARIAN. Opps.